Southern Comfort (Pt. 2), Driven to Tears
10/30/07 07:36 AM
| Up ChucksWe made it to Crossville Tennessee before Midnight our time, before 11:00 theirs. That is the optimists record of the event. The Dale Carnegie version. The short and the sweet. Still, there is a little back story necessary here.
Jumping back to (Pt. 1) for a second, a paragraph or a page.
When I wrote the previous post I was sitting at the BMW dealership and service facility. It was before 2:00 and I had not been there very long (I had a 1:30 appointment and barely made it with the traffic on 465 being awful, but that is a drop, let me get the bucket ready). So when I was called back to talk to my personal service rep he was a t lunch, so I got Zack instead, which was fine. I told him I had concerns about the power steering, which was making grinding noises and shaking the steering wheel at slower speeds, plus it had been nearly 6000 miles since my last Oil Change (BMW recommends 7000 mile intervals with their cars and their service and selected oil) and I would be putting on close to 1000 miles on the ride to and fro to Middle Eastern Tennessee for John Mason's wedding to Jennifer Yeager. I created the post below, and since there was no WiFi could not surf or post it at the time. I was told that I would have approximately one hour before they could get to the German Girl, as it was a crazy busy day (They were winterizing lots of German girls, boys and Mini's I reckon), so when 3 PM came and went I was not overly concerned. Around 3:45, after I had haunted the boutique, sales areas and watched all the BMW TV commercials on the in house system, Mike, my personal contact, came over and squatted down next to me at my comfy leather perch and said, "Well here's the deal with the power steering, you have two minor leaks which are still there, we topped off the system and re-pressurized it, but you are due for a flush and general maintenance of the steering system anyway (every two years is the recommended flush/refill cycle). The oil is changed, the service alerts reset and that is ready to go too. Have you been having any problems starting the car?"
I replied truthfully , "no never she starts as soon as you touch the key."
"Ohh," Mike says, "then I think that the electric fuel pump is going out. The guys in the service bay had to tap on the top of the pump motor to get it to start, and they think it is on it's way out."
I reiterated, "I've never had any problems at all, she always starts as soon as you touch the key." Then I told Mike that we were leaving for Tennessee in an hour, "What should I do."
He said. "Take a rubber mallet and tap on the fuel pump motor cap while someone is cranking the motor, it may catch. That's what they had to do to get it started after the oil change. The cover is under the spare tire cover in the trunk."
Another 20 minutes went by before they called my name, I went with the 'guy' who told me that they left her running for fear she wouldn't restart, but I had to go to the cashier. At D&R they always wash the car after servicing it unless you ask them not too, so when I got out to her she was shining and purring but I had new concerns and worries. I got in and drove home without incident, I called Jenni on the way an "heads up-ed her." When I got home I shut her off in the garage. Went in and saw to the packing of my sleep pants, Colts gear and wedding wardrobe. I thought of the warnings and cautions of Mike the BMW guy, went out and started her back up. No problem, I wasn't worried, yet. I went back in finished and loaded the car. She started again, I backed her into the drive and closed the garage. I then prepared a place for Charlie the rat terrier in the garage for a short weekend, and collected the wife and was full of good spirits for a great weekend and a fun drive to Crossville Tennessee with my right arm candy bride. She started again, and ran fine for a few seconds, I released the brake and started down my 18 degree inclined drive where she died before we were completely out of the drive. She sputtered and coughed before her gasp and termination. I tried to re-ignite the passion of six cylinders pumping well over 200 horses worth of power but she wouldn't catch. With half the car in the turnaround in front of the house I had another problem. I emptied the boot (luggage compartment, i.e. trunk) lifted the floor cover and with Jenni cranking malleted the cover cap. She hiccuped a couple of times but refused to budge.
We paused, I disassembled the doggie garage vacation resort spot and ushered him back into la hacienda. I opened the garage and hoped for a few seconds of impetus to get the car up and in before the next phase of the weekend could be considered. Jenni malleted, and I cranked and she grabbed a few times but wouldn't run. Eventually I surrendered to the inevitable, told Jenni to steer as I pushed her back toward the intersection. I had to consider the other problem.
The plan was to align the bumpers and have Jenni push me and the German Girl to the lip of the drive and I would coast up and into the garage and retire her until repairs could be affected. Giving instructions I thought explicit enough Jenni was to come to a rest on the bumper from behind, accelerate as quickly as possible until I reached the driveway incline, and disengage. Instead she got me started, hesitated (instead of maintaining contact), whacked me from behind to resume the push and never got us up to garage re-entry escape velocity.
I had stressed that the driveway was the point of no return and that she was not to push once I was in the driveway because of the angles the taillights and non-bumper areas could be damaged by the truck's bumper. She broke off at the driveway as instructed, so I got the German Girl completely out of the street, which would have to be good enough. I engaged the parking brake, put the car in 1st gear and took the keys out. I was opening the door when Jenni hit us from behind hard enough to crack the bumper in several places, break the 'over the bumper' trim molding and snap my head hard into the seat headrest. Being parked and braked and in gear she only moved a few inches before my yelling could get Jenni to abort the shove.
Jenni started crying, and tried to call her sisters to tell them that we couldn't come. That she (we) would miss her only brother's wedding. She didn't get through to anyone,because they were all at the rehearsal and diner.
Things were looking glum for Jenni, me and the Madchen German Girl. I carried all the luggage and provisions back into the house and chose a spot from which to mope and surrender to my fate.
Chuck Pace © 2007 |