Yesterday I went to Arbys for the pick 5 menu, the price is right and the service really fast. I had a book with me and planned on knocking out a few pages before returning to the job. I had already consumed my food and was reading and working on my soft drink when following happened. Two porcine Paulines, nay two large Linda's, not right either, two fat Felicities eh, still not right.
Two rotund Rhondas sat down at the adjoining table; their pick 5 appetizers on trays dwarfed in their flesh catchers mitts. I was reading, but could not help but notice that the room got warmer and darker as they were between me and the windows. I had already directed myself back to the printed word when I heard one angrily say...
"You are drinking from MY drink!"
The offending one, obviously overjoyed and giddy at this news, Burbles out , "He,he ha! What is it? LEMONADE?"
The plaintiff says "!!Yes!! "
Then the infringer says, "Hoo, hoo, mine is too!"
By now I had given up on the words before me. Book now almost forgotten in front of me, yet still open as a decoy, I tried not to be obvious in my attending to the scene. A quick sideways glance reveals the plaintiff scowling at the offender.
I replay the commentary and think; What is it lemonade? Really? Can she not tell, she drank some of it? Does it have to be wrapped in bacon before she can tell? Then I think, o.k. problem solved, just swap drinks, they just sat down, chances are the other drink (also lemonade I am able to ascertain with my Holmesian deductive prowess) hasn't been drank from yet. I consider telling them my biblical solution, don't cut the baby in half (call me Solomon), just swap drinks. Then I think there are three possible results if I intervene.
1. They think I am a problem solving super genius.
2. They think I am an eavesdropping a-hole.
3. They eat me!
I grab my book, drink and tray and leave, fully five minutes before my scheduled lunch interval requires; intact.
Chuck Pace © 2007
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