There was a question asked at work. "Didn't you ever have an imaginary playmate?" Jo was asking Matt or Mike, it wasn't even directed at me. I waited a minute and then I said, "I never had one because my older brother would have beat him up everyday too, so as a (reality) friend I spared him that." That got me thinking about all kinds of weird pseudo normal things. Later I heard Matt say quick and dirty to someone on the phone, and I mentally leapt to... if the makers of Quick Books made software for money launderers wouldn't it be called Quicken Dirty? Then there was the old toilet humor rhyme that came to mind, you know it everybody does, its as universal as the dollar bill, I won't quote the whole thing but it starts like this, Here I sit all broken hearted .... That got me thinking that if you went to do a number two, and it didn't happen for you could you say you had a sham poo? Well my mind doesn't rest on a simple rhyme or pun, and I ended up revisiting the original again as though I were an engineer or educator, and this is what I came up with, "Here I perch cardiovascularly disincorporated, came to excise fecal matter but merely flatuated." I think it works on a more cerebral level, at least for a fart humor rhyme. This is the curse I carry with me all the time. Sometimes it blurts out, sometimes I auto censor and it stays and festers into something else, like bizarre dreams. Sometimes it fades away and I wish I'd made a note of it, like I do here. Now I know that there are those who don't buy the auto-censor thing, but trust me if you see me with a mischievous grin on my face I'm usually auto censoring, or at least diluting a thought for future "blurts." Sometimes I blurt anyway and someone's feelings get hurt or a beer or soda finds its way into a nasal passage or worse. Don't judge me too harshly though, I edit and censor more than you think, and I (almost) never hurt on purpose. I generally like people and am not a vindictive ass. Just don't be one to me or I may unleash an uncensored diatribe before I can be restrained. I've seen it happen and its usually ugly.
Chuck Pace © 2007
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Oh, Corona Time!