Big Gas Hole
10/14/08 07:03 AM
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Them Pipes is made from soup cans! Says Derry Licht pointing to a public works project on Mass Avenue in Indianapolis.
Looking down got easier yesterday. There was more down to look. At least on Mass Avenue there was. In a surprise move Chatterbox owner David Andrichik claimed immanent domain over a few parking spots next to the Chatterbox Tavern at 433 Massachusetts Avenue. "There's no way they is getting this propty back," said Andrichik's spokesman Derry Licht standing on the side of the hole where the public works department had been digging. "We is putting in a hot tub, this is arn now." When it was pointed out that it was not Chatterbox property and that it was a public works project under way Mr. Licht got confessed and claimed, "We struck Gold!, Thar's Gold in them old poopin pipes" Then he said, "Its an Elevator to Atlantis" followed by "Thar's an ally gator in 'ere the size of a caddylac!" At times Mr. Licht seemed lucid at others disoriented but he insisted that his hero Mr. Andrichik would never surrender the space back to the city. " I insist that my hero Mr. Andrichik will never surrender this here space back to the sitty, besides it full of Cortez's Gold and you caint claim jump us." Again when it was pointed out to Mr. Licht that this was just a temporary infra-structure repair and that the parking spots would be back to normal in a few weeks he seemed to get confused. "I got clam dip and sody-pop in an old cigar box down there and I is eatin' it at the Mayor's Breakfist" followed by "You look like a guy I never met in Viet Nam you shore you aint married to Sally?"
When asked to move along Mr. Licht said, "I got me the title and the deed but you can have it for a sammich and a few crackers long as they aint stale." "Amelia Airhart parked her plane on the second level!" "Who has change for a two dollar bill?" "Who's Bill?" Where is my parka?"
All good questions. Real Good questions. We are bringing the sandwich and crackers
Chuck Pace ©2008 |
Bangles
08/28/08 06:53 AM
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These Guys (?) Don't Look So Tough!
Still I wouldn't turn down a chance to visit the locker room after the game! I don't think this is going to be to tough a match-up against the Colts at Lucas Oil Field's last pre-season game tonight. I mean look at these guys, they are just a bunch of girls! In an AFC North division the Bangles may not even make it past two of their three division rivals in either regular season game this year. Quarterback Carson Palmer (in the dreamy off shoulder pink) number was knocked out of last weeks pre-season match-up against the Saints with a bloody lip and three sacks. His pre-season record is not too impressive either with just 188 yards and a 57.9 percentage completion rating and only 1 TD matched with 1 Interception. Well it is just preseason, and this game means nothing in the grand design, and I doubt the Peyton will even step on the field with a helmet, since he is still recovering from off season knee surgery.
The Colts will see the Bangles in regular season action on Pearl Harbor Day, December 7th (Week 14) again here at the new Stadium, and that will be more of a mano et mano matchup I hope. The Colts will have 5 prime-time games this season including the "official Lucas Oil Stadium Opener next Sunday against the Chicago Bears. In contrast, The Bangals snappy dressers will only be stepping out one time this season in prime time, and its not even a manic monday night game it is a Thursday nighter against the Steelers in Pittsburgh. Prediction: I Look for The Bangles to finish third in their division below the Steelers and the division champs The Ravens, leaving the Browns to cleaning the basement again this season. Oh Susanna don't you cry for me. Speaking of that the Rock Band the Bangles (down to three gorgeous gals will actually be kicking off a tour on September 1st at Dolphin Stadium in Miami (where the Colts won their first World Championship I seem to remember) before heading to Scotland for a retrofest gig.

Jenni and I have often wondered why most TV announcers and many mid-westerners can not say Bengals with a Bing or even a Ben. We often hear them called the Bang-ul-s, thus todays tongue in cheek approach to... Mmmm Susanna Hoffs, I mean Football and tonight's game.
Chuck Pace ©2008 |
New Competition, Kitchen Olympix!
08/14/08 07:28 AM
| PermalinkUsually I am a man up to most any challenge. I tackle things that I "might" be able to do with an attitude of "sure" I can. I usually succeed to a certain extent. Put my mind to a task and I get an acceptable result. But, A dare? That is a different story. A dare usually involves doing something that is foolish, dangerous, illegal or all of the above. I rarely accept dares, once the options are weighed and the rewards are calculated dares usually are found in the deficit column of the rewards ledger. So as I received an e-mail very early this morning while my world was still crashing down over me from a day that is best just forgotten, I looked upon a 'bet' or dare I received from Stuart Florida, a challenge that my Beautiful Daughter took and chose to lay on my already over burdened shoulders, and said to myself. Sure. Why not.
Compulsory Dive. Meredith Pace ©2008
The picture above is just that dare made flesh. Lots of flesh. This person is one of Meredith coworkers, who said I would not post it on my site. I believe that this is another event being considered for the 2012 summer games in London. The platform dive into a bowl of gumbo. Obviously there is a lot of training involved, and a lot of gumbo! I believe the contestant is starting a 2 and a half inverted to a pike, and then the big finish the chomp!
There's no way he'll put that on his site. Bet on it.
Chuck Pace ©2008
Didn't I see this guy outside a Frish's? Offically Off, Get to Work!
06/30/08 03:46 PM
| PermalinkIt is upon us. It is all over us. Heck, we're soaking in it. Time off that we didn't even remember taking. Yep, Vacation pt. 3 is underway, and it is that "spend time in the house, around the house and in the yard" sort of getaway from work type of time off that we are indulging ourselves in. It didn't take us long to get into the vacation frame of mind either. It looks like we have created a whole new set of goals, chores and projects. We should be very rested by the time we get back to our paying for services 9 to 5 lives.
Here at CP.CWHQ/TV the projects will be going along simultaneously, this will keep the camera crews and the readers/viewers hopping as well. Last night, before a marathon session of Starz/Comedy until 3:45 this early AM I finished the garage door project. All sixteen panels of the door are now insulated against noise and weather from the inside. The garage is my safe-spot from the rest of the worlds trials at times, and it is with much pride that I have extended its seasonal refuge capabilities.
I have two outdoor projects on-going and one I'm still fermenting for the future, and today after this inter-tome is uploaded I start a new indoor project. Tomorrow will be divided between projects and bowling. Today it is projects inside so even the weather can not foil my plans unless it takes out the power grid.
Chuck Pace ©2008
Look-king-up
12/19/07 07:27 AM
| PermalinkTonight is the annual holiday sing-a-long at the Chatterbox. Predominantly songs of and about christmas will be sung there. Some about snowmen, or just snow blanketing the ground being cold or transforming the landscape into a sort of wonderland. I going to the 'Box tonight instead of going to Stephens. Last feast I attended at Stephens we were all looked down upon by a Bohemian Czech Duke. He called himself a King, but Saints Preserve us he was just a Duke, though some say he was a Prince of a fellow. He was murdered by his brother Boleslaus and three accomplices in September of 935. Boleslaus succeeded him as Duke of Bohemia.
Ohh I'm feeling all Christmassy inside now.
I will not be looked down on this year.
That's Duke Wenceslaus over there on the right. Don't that make your sleigh-bells ring?
Chuck Pace©2007 | It's Not the One You Go to Bed With
11/15/07 06:52 AM
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Ohio St. Looking East from New Jersey St. Chuck Pace© 2007So its the one I woke up with again, that's good enough for some guys. Heck its good enough for me most of the time. But the one I wake up with is often a pain, a nagging insistent bitch that boils my brain until I have to look for a substitute. Substitute now that sounds good. But am I looking for a real substitute, or just trying to get the one I woke up with out of my head? Heck, sometimes I don't even go to bed with the one I would prefer, but I still have more choice then than with the one I wake up with. Where did this one come from? Obviously we had an encounter sometime in the past, maybe we shared a dance? How did you get in? What can I do the relive the good times, or maybe how do I get rid of you? My wife doesn't always understand. She doesn't' always have the thoughts of one old swinger or another, or some bouncy younger thing she can't get off her mind. They don't get into her head that way. She doesn't get the urge to grab on to one of the hotter ones that makes your heart beat a little faster and your feet want to do some wandering, not the way I do.
Here is the one I woke up with. 1979's "Century City" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.
Sometimes I wanna leave you
Sometimes I wanna go
Right back where I came from
Back where I belong
But it never lasts for too long
Always goes away
Well I s till don't look for reasons
Thats much too hard these days
Why worry about the rain?
Why worry about the problem?
Honey century citys got everything covered
Well your mama gave you lovin
Mama held you near
Baby mam a cant do nothin
Honey mama just aint here
And you can pretend all you want to
But that wont work no more
No you cant run back to daddy
Yeah you tried that once before
Why worry about your father?
Why worry about your mother?
Honey century citys got everything covered
Were gonna live in century city
Go ahead and give in, century city
Like modern men, modern girls
Were gonna live in the modern world
Were gonna live in century city
Go ahead and give in, century city
Like modern men, modern girls
Were gonna live in the modern world
Sometimes I get discouraged
Sometimes I feel so down
Sometimes I get so worried
But I dont know what about
But it works out in the long run
Always goes away
And Ive come now to accept it
As a reoccurring phase
Dont worry about the rain
Dont worry about the problem
Honey century citys got everything covere
Were gonna live in century city
Were gonna live in century city
Were gonna live in century city
Were gonna live in century city
Chuck Pace © 2007
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Space and Time continue 'em.
10/10/07 07:23 AM
| PermalinkOnce again I wake up to an obscure song in my head, the date was 1979, the band was named Off Broadway. They were (are)from Chicago. Their break-out album sold 3000,000 albums in the U.S.,but only one to me. The hit was "Drop me a Line", it had a hook, it had a beat it was fun. I woke up from my third alarm, not at all alarmed by the time, I had bathed and groomed before bedding down the eve afore. I lay there thinnking I might hit the snooze, I had time I had space. I had a song starting in my head. Drop me a line from your space and time... it said. I got up right then, I tried to remember the next line was it bring me a basket of loot? Did I remember this correctly? Computer? Bingo. Too bad I don't have an operational turntable I could just play it outside my head. Your turn.
In Denmark Huskerdoo means do you remember? In music it means try to forget (at least the band Huskerdo).Do you remember this song?
Drop me a line from your space in time
Bring me a basket of loot
I'm only trying to make you rhyme
You know, yes you know
We can just sit back and watch us grow
There's so much to be shown
Bring me a scene from your fever dream
Take me alone in the night
I'm only trying to make you right
You know, yes you know
We can just sit back and watch us grow
There's so much to be shown
Ooooh baby, all I'm needing to say
Let me drive all the way
You know, yes you know
We can just sit back and watch us grow
There's so much to be shown
(break-guitar solo time)
You know, yes you know
We can just sit back and watch us grow
We can go baby, well well well baby
Well well well baby
Just sit back and watch us
Just sit back and watch us
Just sit back, oh just sit back, oh
Just sit back, oh just sit back, oh yeah
They are still around now, they are still in Chicago I found out after a quick google search. The members are older than me. Yoikes!
Chuck Pace © 2007
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GeoMetrie Coal
08/22/07 09:22 PM
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Triangle Cat says Doodle Do'doh. Chuck Pace ©2007So when I'm on the phone with breezy customers I often doodle. One day I brought one of the doodles home, and before you knew it I was daydreaming and doodling triangles and lo' from the inkshes arose a phoenix, no wait not a phoenix, ....
...a Saber Toothed Triangle Cat
(Obliquess-Obtusses Felis Incisoriuos) a hetrodontic doodle mammal from the geometrician age. A stunning example of natures diverse experimental past. There is speculation that these SabreT-Cats were expert fisher-felines and may have been natures first true anglers. The rarest remains found are the LeSabre T-Cats found in the Buicks and Fiords of Western Europe, but imported only a few years
because of the scarcity of fossil fuels, they were dying for fuel it turned out a few million years later. The Saber T-Cats were prevalent at the same time as the Masted-Don's,
(Proto-Pachy Brigantinus-Plimsoultus-Mainsalacious) the early pre-pachyderm that sailed in the frigate waters with their sloop-ing foreheads and a unique horn-of-plenty and sail-like tufts made entirely of hair. Their demise came with the deforestation of the woodlands; on the open plains (and interstates) where the wind could course unabated they would often topple into the watering holes tusk-first (displacing galleaons of water later used for recreation) and founder, anchored in the ironclad mire. After millions of years of pressure they evolved into coal haulers (a miner inconvenience), golf bags and circus animals, but they are still among the best swimmers in the realm of quadropedic mammals (to the point that they are banned at many resorts and cliff diving communities due to the scarcity of carpet sized beach towels).
This is all for todays pre-history lesson. Now, everybody get out your trumpets, except you elephants that is.
Chuck Pace © 2007
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In the Garden
07/22/07 09:14 PM
| PermalinkLast weekend there was the big garden party at Jody and Mary Jane's. That was on Saturday. On the day before as I was going to pick up Jenni at her place of work I saw four gentlemen dressed alike standing on the corner of Delaware and South. I look on for a minute while waiting for the light to change, then I grabbed my camera and took a picture. I was amused, because I thought they looked like an away team from Star trek or Stargate.

The next evening was the party and I took some pictures of the Grober/Olinger garden. I downloaded some of the photos today and sure enough there was evidence that something was not quite right in the garden. An "away" team was sent to recover the Sphere of Gazera, that was being held captive by Lord Menarda and his minions. The Evil Lord could easily hide in the surroundings of the "Garden" and waited until the "A" team had made contact before annihilating them, knowing that the next check-in time was 5 hours away.

That their destruction will cause the Federation to think twice before sending in another team is guaranteed. I know I will not be going back to that ill fated place any time too soon, for who knows what other evil awaits, In the Garden!
Chuck Pace © 2007
Set Phasers on Stun!
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Defoliating A Victory Garden
06/09/07 06:48 AM
| PermalinkGood Morning Dear Friends: Its been a long weak. A hard week, and an odd week. As I was working so hard to revitalize and defoliate the victory garden with my trenching tool, mothra nature was tearing down other parts. That can sure work up an appetite. The heat was dizzying, and I started to get dehydrated, it made me feel like I was high.
Well I am high all right, but not on false drugs, I'm high on the real thing, Powerful Gasoline, A clean Windshield and a Shoe shine!
Is it going to be alright? Oh, ho ho you bet. Yes dear friends its going to be all right here at the Powerhouse Church of the Presumptuous Assumption of the Blinding Light, (Sing Along) "Oh Blinding Light, Oh Light That Blinds, I cannot See Look Out For Me. Uhn, Ooff." Yes Friends welcome to Paster Flash's Hour of reckoning with Organ Leroy and his organ again, and the 50 voice St. Louis Aquarium Choir, I'm Deacon E.L.Mouse. Opps. I was channelling the Firesign Theatre there. It must be because of a conversation I had with Brad and Sue on Kay's front porch at the side of her house that most people think of as the back. We were discussing the values of
"Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers" from 1970, I got my first copy on vinyl in 1978 and promptly memorized it for just such occasions as a Shrimp-Boil/Turkey Fry/Broken Box/Fireworks/Garden extravaganza 29 years into my future.
(It's the Future, I say live it or live with it) Well it all worked out. I am glad I planned ahead. Too bad I didn't think to set my alarm clock ahead about 15 minutes 29 years ago as I am now out of time to continue this post. I have to get to Work. I have another day of sales and reckoning ahead. Driving and crying. And more garden work awaits my eventual return.
Those are the headlines, now the rumors behind the news. Sorry Dear Friends I will continue this discourse on the concourse after my dailies are done. Time is an evil mistress.
Chuck Pace © 2007
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The Cracker PUSH
06/01/07 07:28 AM
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The Crackercade made it processional stop at the monument. Chuck Pace © 2007There, dotted around the Circle were these lovely young ladies looking like mid-1960's Stewardess' all in Red with clever yellow piping on their berets.
Thank you for choosing Air-Mensus I'm your head stewardess Flo and you are on our flight to fancy and Nostalgia with stops in Crackerville and Toasted Wayfaria. There were at least a dozen of these Strawberry and Banana Tarts interspersed dispersing Ritz Crackers. Rich and I happened upon them as we were making way to my bank on the north end of the Circle. Enjoying the Sunshine and Circle when the ho-ho's thrust buttery baked cracker goodness upon us. As we came down on the North side of the monument steps there was even a motorcade of cracker chippies, with mopeds, vans, trailers and giant inflatable boxes of simulated baked joy. I said to Rich as I was stuffing four samples packs of Ritz Cafe Crackers into my pants pocket, "This will be remembered as the big Cracker Push of '07." We Crackers do love our baked buttery ripple-cut wafers, salted and baked to sunny golden goodness, and what better place to display them than a Circle bathed in sunlight covered with saltines baking in natures oven, to bad we couldn't have had some pressurized cheese substitute or chive and onion dip to add to the moment. All that was really missing was a big wafer mascot floating in the soupy air of the humid midday. Hey, I know a big salty Mascot type, some have known him as Chip, now a rowdy CEO, not an oreo, but a true cracker by the book.
I gotta' get done here it's almost Crunch Time and I have to get to work. At least I don't get toasted or I would have to avoid the munchies!
I miss my little buddy the Mascot, oh where oh where ... Probably sittin' at the Ritz with Carlton your door man, Rhoda?
Chuck Pace © 2007
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The Sky's the Limit
05/09/07 11:43 PM
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Sensor Cleaning test shot. Chuck Pace ©2007As far as the atmosphere is concerned, the sky's the limit.
Chuck Pace © 2007
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Hibernation
04/10/07 07:32 AM
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The Bristol Goon Squad, Chuck Pace © 2007I know the picture has nothing to do with todays post. But last night I intended to use it this morning, and I don't have time for anything different. So here is an odd unrelated image.
Sometimes the bear gets you.That's what happened to Jenni and I this morning. I was talking to Meredith on the phone just after midnight and told her I was very tired and needed to sleep. Well I was serious. I slept. Through my three different alarms and all of Jenni's too. Being a light sleeper most of the time, this came as a completer surprise, as did 7:13 AM which is usually about the time I am leaving.
Chuck Pace © 2007
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Let's Go Fly a Kite
03/28/07 07:16 AM
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From Mary Poppins
Written by Robert B. Sherman
With tuppence for paper and strings,
you can have your own set of wings.
With your feet on the ground,
you're a bird in flight!
With your fist holding tight,
to the string of your kite!
Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height
Let's go fly a kite
And send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let's go fly a kite!
When you send it flying up there,
all at once your lighter than air!
You can dance on the breeze,
over 'ouses and trees!
With your fist 'olding tight,
to the string your kite!
Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height
Let's go fly a kite
And send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let's go fly a kite!
What could I possibly add to that?
Chuck Pace © 2007
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Streaming Me-me's
03/06/07 08:21 PM
| PermalinkThere was a question asked at work. "Didn't you ever have an imaginary playmate?" Jo was asking Matt or Mike, it wasn't even directed at me. I waited a minute and then I said, "I never had one because my older brother would have beat
him up everyday too, so as a (reality) friend I spared him that." That got me thinking about all kinds of weird pseudo normal things. Later I heard Matt say quick and dirty to someone on the phone, and I mentally leapt to... if the makers of Quick Books made software for money launderers wouldn't it be called Quicken Dirty? Then there was the old toilet humor rhyme that came to mind, you know it everybody does, its as universal as the dollar bill, I won't quote the whole thing but it starts like this,
Here I sit all broken hearted .... That got me thinking that if you went to do a number two, and it didn't happen for you could you say you had a sham poo? Well my mind doesn't rest on a simple rhyme or pun, and I ended up revisiting the original again as though I were an engineer or educator, and this is what I came up with,
"Here I perch cardiovascularly disincorporated, came to excise fecal matter but merely flatuated." I think it works on a more cerebral level, at least for a fart humor rhyme. This is the curse I carry with me all the time. Sometimes it blurts out, sometimes I auto censor and it stays and festers into something else, like bizarre dreams. Sometimes it fades away and I wish I'd made a note of it, like I do here. Now I know that there are those who don't buy the auto-censor thing, but trust me if you see me with a mischievous grin on my face I'm usually auto censoring, or at least diluting a thought for future "blurts." Sometimes I blurt anyway and someone's feelings get hurt or a beer or soda finds its way into a nasal passage or worse. Don't judge me too harshly though, I edit and censor more than you think, and I (almost) never hurt on purpose. I generally like people and am not a vindictive ass. Just don't be one to me or I may unleash an uncensored diatribe before I can be restrained. I've seen it happen and its usually ugly.
Chuck Pace © 2007
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Oh, Corona Time!