I wonder why the Charlie is being so quiet? Chuck Pace ©2006

So I've been needing to replace the light switch cover in the front room since before Meredith and David moved to Florida. In fact it's entirely their fault that I have to replace the light switch cover. We payed them to paint the walls in that room. David bought oak light switch and outlet covers (picked up is more accurate) and missed picking one up for beside the fireplace/patio doors. Fast forward two years to last night. I stop at Home Depot and pick up a brush, Olde English oak stain, a plain wood double gang light switch cover and a wooden rheostat nob complete with universal post adapter set. I then run to two different flower distribution centers (they had to be just right) for a nice card and some roses for the woman of my dreams. I come home after cleverly crafting a note inside the card to get some. Deliver the card, bring tears to my wife's eyes (which has nothing to do with the quesodillas I had for lunch) and then give her the flowers. Next I stain the knob (get your mind out of the gutter). Stain the light switch cover and put them makeshift raised platforms to dry, just in time for Jenni and I to watch Smallville. After Smallville I set the VCR to record Earl and The Office, and start running a nice bath to soak and read more in Kavalier and Clay. Jenni (the aforementioned woman of my dreams) had thoughtfully bought me bag of Dr. Teal's Soaking Solution with Eucalyptus and Spearmint. As the water was tumbling into the tub, I went back into the dining room, met by wife who says , you're going to kill him. I knew without even seeing what she was talking about. I said, "How'd he get it!" "The cats I guess," of course it was the cat accomplice named Bela, she batted the saucer shaped knob off the table onto the floor carpet where Charlie began to chew the hell out of the thing. In an hour it went from project finish to, "that's right you better hide you bastard!"
The tape was taping, I could not un-chew he knob, and the bath was ready. I bathed. I read three chapters in my book I relaxed. I submersed my head in the warm waters, only to find that where I have some dry skin patches on my face on either side of my nose I was on fire when I emerged from the solution. I apparently am allergic to a relaxing soak (at least this relaxing soak). I have other areas that are/were irritated also but didn't notice in the "hot as I can stand" waters. I emerged from torture bathing, watched the news, saw Reggie's number retired to the Conseco rafters, then set VCR to tape The Flaming Lips on Letterman and went to bed. At least the flowers and card worked. Real well.

Faux Pas: I failed to acknowledge that Pam was at the tasting on Wednesday night. She was in the corner with her cousin and some bad boys. I'm sorry Pam, the whole cheesecake Kay incident had me a little preoccupied. Still, no matter how many times I mention Pam in the next two blogs, I know she'll still be numberfourpam when it's all over.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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Whopping Big Stage Madness! (we can still say madness, Right?)
Chuck Pace ©2006

With the Terminal Half-Eight at hand it is once again time for the city of Indianapolis to start blocking off public thoroughfares and booting parking meters. Starting street and road repairs again in the most congestion areas. Blocking access to the sites that we are most proud of as tourists sites the rest of the time. This is the month when the Circle City, is renamed the Really whopping Big Stage City. These events bring millions of dollars into the local and State economy, we put on an impressive show for our visitors. We have the practice. We have the three Races, one touted as the Spectacle of Racing, unrivaled for its Greatness (I hesitate to use the exact copyrighted, trademarked phrase for fear of coming up missing), another that went nine years being named for the original surface of the circuit's remaining three foot wide start finish strip (incidentally bricks) before it was put in the good hands of corporate sponsor to trivialize it, and the last of the three, the world's finest showcase of multimillionaire wheelmen driving for the most prestigious auto manufactures (as long as they can all agree that the tyres are spiffy enough) in the Primary Breastmilk Substitute circuit (here I know I would be sued or bombed off the planet if I were to utter the correct two words in the correct sequence, that is one Formula for disaster I avoid like a festering pot-hole). Our Governor Mitch has asked some hotel concern to belly up (with millions in state assistance money and incentives of course) and build a first class 800 room hotel to further house the hoards that come to these events. I can see the necessity of this, but I ask. Could we maybe take some of the funds and resurface the approaches to the epicenter of our city, the Really whopping Big Stage er... Circle and downtown? I drive in on the National Highway (U.S. 40, Washington St.) from the East side every morning, I've gotten pretty good at dodging the places where the old trolly rail tracks from the late 1800's are showing through along with bricks and decades of bad patching around LaSalle St. and again in the Final Four blocks of the Near East Side, from Southeastern to East Street. These can be bone jarring and treacherous to the uninitiated traveler. I wouldn't want any Euros to spill their Extra Hot No Foam Latte's in their touring tuned, self leveling suspension, six-figure exoticars because they weren't prepared for the blast from the past (O.K. maybe the French) en route to the Conrad, or the next big posh, 'we'll build it but we'd prefer not to have Hoosiers to stay in it, mmmkay' Concern. The GPS system can direct you to the Really whopping Big Stage but it won't say "bite down on a strip of rubber tubing to save denture work, in two seconds." Bad news for the Brits especially, eh wot, with their universal health care and dental plans leading the way as a model for the rest of us. "I say, egads Nigel, not only do they drive on the barbarian side of the macadam, but I fear I bruised the tooth!"

Alright then. Hey we had a Chatterbox beer tasting last night. Kay mistakenly thought she could bribe herself higher into the Mention Meter with the slice of cheesecake she brought, to just me. Everyone at the table saw through the desperate attempt, Wilson, Jenni, Rich even Richard Plath. John David who was woefully late didn't even know about the cheesecake, but he would have seen through the ruse too, I'm sure, usually his perceptions are only suspect when it comes to women (with or without cats). So I have to say no Kay, no, no, a dozen times no. It didn't work. This is the efforts of a desperate Woma... Kay. But damn the cheesecake was good. Thanks Kay. Well I've successfully assured I'l be late for work again (Jenni helped immensely, but I bear the brunt of the Flood of Blame, I could just choke myself, I'm such a tool! I take no truck with shirkers of responsibility).
Big Whopping Chuck Pace ©2006
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Hey Mr. Wilson! Or is that Dagwood... Jack Benny Maybe? Comical to say the least. Eh, Mitchell.
Chuck Pace © 2006
Last night we made up ground on the #1 team in this most recent 10 for 10 league. We did this one man short (no not Dustin Hoffman or Tom Cruise short, I mean one man missing, like at the end of Top Gun, after Goose [Anthony Edwards]; not a short man at all, is killed in the canopy failure of his jet). The number one team here, or there actually but referenced here was the Chatterbowlers v3.0, also a man down. Yet even without Will, there was still a way to win two games but not series for them. My team not having all of its parts (and certainly none to spare) pulled off a stunning 7 point sweep against my team with all of it's parts in place (ghost blind) as we played and owned the vacant spot non-team team. We moved from a close 3rd place to a manageable 2nd place. Confused? Well, I'll explain in detail how the vacancy team... Oh jeez, he's talking about bowling AGAIN. I'd pay good money to buy this guy a more interesting life to write about. If it's not that tavern he's always at it's the stupid bowing alley. It's about as interesting as watching paint dry or grass grow. I don't know why I even bother checking in here anymore... so that's how you score a league when there is an odd number of actual teams.

Before bowling Jenni, Rich, Mike (hey, Mr. Wilson), Mel and I all went to, you guessed it. The Chatterbox (say it ain't so, Joe, say it ain't so) for prelim, right arm bending exercises. Three Corona's usually gets the release form down for me. Jody F., DeAnne, Bill Brooks (still my new hero) Kay even Richard Plath were there as well. Jody had sent out an e-mail blast to her Boxing buddies about putting a smart-aleck on Ice the night before (after I left unfortunately), and all who knew the story congratulated her. Brooks high fived me as I entered, said that the two of us had pulled off the almost unheard of double-dog pimp job on the Mention Ho, and that he was leaving early just to check out the No help at all. Honest post, print it, frame it and order all of his friends t-shirts to wear to Travis and Liz's wedding in the near future. O.K. I embellished his reaction and intentions a little. But not much. The voice of reason has me finishing right here, even though I haven't talked about Goshert at the Purchasing office desk pouting and having a wuff day in his ickle pink shirty-shirt. So like the chain and paperclip kiwi, I will saunter off the side (exit stage right-even) and call it a pomegranate, no a day.
At least he wasn't talking about bowling at the end.
I don't think I like this holier than thou self-righteous attitude mr. voice., and lavender? give me a break.
Chuck Pace ©2006
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DeAnne hanging on Jody's every word. Lamm (thinking, You're full of...) Chuck Pace ©2006

So on the Outasite! post I mentioned Matt and I doing our Mike McDaniels chaingang gag. I mentioned the 12 % chance that Mike would show up and I said that Rich would be back from Bristol. Yep. All of that happened. Am I clairvoyant? Gifted as a seer of future events? Prognosticator of possible paths, in tune with the harmonics and quantum mechanics and possible realities. In a word, no. If I were I would be able to tell you the humble reader whether David Sherry is planning on bowling tonight, but I have heard nary a word, not one whimper or peep from the forth man, the additional spare part. Thusly I have made no arrangement for substitute. Now what do I do? Who do I turn to? Where do I run? Play the third man theme? We the assembled spare parts (be thee trio or quattro), will be bowling a vacancy team tonight, worst case scenario, we bowl David absent, take his average minus 10 each game, and head out very early once we have vanquished as many pins that wouldn't duck. Sounds like a plan. But future vision? Sure that too. The only thing I know for sure. For a certainty, and absolute is this. After today, there is only three more days to go until my vacation begins on April first. Only a fool would say otherwise.
Yesterday the awesome Sam Sartorious came to me in a jam, a real pickle. Being a meat and potatoes kind of guy I offered my assistance. It's the way I am and the way the cookie crumbles. She was in hot soup. She needed a new camera, and to photograph 20 plus paintings to send (or take) to Chicago on Saturday. But she wanted a digital SLR. Those just don't take slides, no matter how you slice it. Plus, she is just barely over half way in the completion of all the work. After stewing on her problem, I stepped up to the plate. She has an old film camera, but gets horrible highlights when she tries to light her enormous paintings. I said get slide film, finish the paintings and take them outside when it's not too sunny. It's going to be some trick to sandwich in finishing 8 paintings, photograph then outside with her old K1000 on slide film, bring those rolls in by Wednesday closing time for processing and sort and arrange them all before leaving Saturday AM, and there is no need for a digital camera in the whole lot. Silly Artist, tricks are for kids. So I sold her a Nikon D50 kit, it has no bearing on the current crisis, but it is the future, it's electric. Now we're cooking with gas! (Why am I suddenly so hungry?)

I can't go on, I've got to stop and have something to eat. I can't even concentrate (like orange juice?) anymore.
Chuck Pace ©2006
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Tonight. After a particularly Monday Monday, I had to stop at the Chatterbox to have few libations with my friends. Besides, I was asked to give Scott Proctor a ride to that same box because James Willis, who usually gives a ride home to Scott, left early for a class he attends, leaving Scott not only classless, but rideless as well. Scott does not live at the "Box", but a few blocks further North.
I was going to the "Box" anyway to meet up with Rich, fresh (well, probably a little less than "fresh" and definitely not Minty Fresh) from Eastern Tennessee and Bristol Motor Speedway, and the usual crowd. The usual crowd was there or the aural/spectral residue of their recent departures was still evident to the psychic observer. Rich was already there with Jack Green and Mike McDaniel when I arrived. DeAnne was the hostest/server/vision and pondered aloud the choice of my beverage as I approached the surly crowd. Almost magically she produced the very choice I had in mind a Corona. She said she had been thinking of me as she cut a particularly juicy lime for the trays during her shift set-up. (Do you supposed it was the cutting or the fruit that brought me to mind?). I also learned, or re-learned something that I already knew. Travis is a Mention Ho, plain and simple. Bill Brooks, who publishes a local newsletter for downtown neighborhoods had "mentioned" Travis in the most recent one. Rich (who witnessed the set-up and delivery, along with David A.) said Travis began to scour the pages and articles for his "mention", until Brooks stopped him. Brooks, who has no equal, (a few less thans, and plenty of greater thans, but no equals) redirected Travis to the publishing, editing, contributing mumbo-jumbo on page three, (displayed here) before the articles and the golden ticket was indeed there for redemption.
When I arrived Brooks, David and the mention Ho, were all no longer there, but as I said their physic energy and signatures didn't diminish the humor of the moment, or its re-telling at Rich's hand or my keyboard. Thanks Brooks, for the larf, and the brilliant set-up. I could not have done it better, I'm definitely one of the less thans. Mel and Ed were also witness to the re-telling of the moment, Jody F., Kay, Dory and Connie were present, but did not hear the tale.

Chuck Pace, Bill Brooks ©2006
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More Saturday Sky's and sites. On the way to Luna, at a light, It's green buddy!
Chuck Pace © 2006
I've mentioned before that I often wake up with obscure songs and lyrics in my head. Today is no exception, though one of the weirder. Yesterday I never led the Nascar Fantasy league. I hovered around tenth place until the waning laps, I ended up finishing second. At 11:56 last night as I was just about to go to sleep, I received a test message from John David. He quoted the Kevin Kline character from "A Fish Called Wanda," the line repeatedly delivered when this character would encounter a British Driver on the "proper" English side of the road. I can only assume this was in reference to my 2nd place finish at Bristol where I stomped a mud hole in the "King of the Forest!" Not an a****hooooolllee!!! J.D. a mud hole! Anyway I, for the first time in my life awoke with Aldo Nova lyrics in my head. Not owning a handgun, I did the only other thing I could do, thats exorcise them onto these pages. Arrrggghhh! Erp.

"Fantasy," Aldo Nova, Fantasy, 1982
In the streets there's no wrong and no right
so forget all that you see
It's not reality
It's just a fantasy
Can't you see
What this crazy life is doing to me
Life is just a fantasy
Can you live this fantasy life
Outasite

Cheesy videos, cheesy lyrics, Rod stewart meets Flock of Seagulls hair-do's. I never owned a note, jagged vinyl valley or laser accessed dimple of Aldo Nova music in my life. Or for that matter willingly watched a video, except to see what was on the other side in the halcyon days of MTV! Life is just a fantasy Can you live this fantasy life. Life is just a fantasy Can you live this fantasy life, Life is just a fantasy Can you live this fantasy life. Life is just a fantasy Can you live this fantasy life!
Saturday at the Store, I think it was the fourth of July, damn, more lyrics. But maybe vanquishing, cleansing lyrics. Saturday at the Store, Matt and I did a Mike McDaniel tribute chain-gang (complete with rattling chains keys) shuffle, afterward Bruce Pallman walked up and asked what was funny, we didn't elaborate, just mentioned Mike. Bruce asked how he is doing, if any of us had talked to him or seen him lately. Fast Forward. Sunday after the Race, out of the blue, I get a call from Mike. I told him to join us at the Box, tonight or tomorrow. he said he would, so there a 12% chance he will. Those are Good Odds! Rich called and recaped the race and told me he should be at the Box tonight, fresh from the Bristol Ice Capades. He wanted to know how our bowling team did Friday night, if Travis bowled out his a** as instructed, and where he finished in the Fantasy league. A respectable (well ahead of J.D.) 5th. I then spent two hours un-kinking the Mention Meter stats, and updating the running order. Now I take myself to work. Another time, another place.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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Nope, Nothing Wrong Here.

The weather has been Sybil all weekend, but it looks like it will be civil in Bristol for the race. Rich called yesterday and said the qualifying was rain/snowed out and that it would be owner points establishing the grid. O.K. we both thought Jimmie, Kasey front row. Au contraire mon frere (I use french here because of my affinity towards the french on Bristol race days, to say otherwise would just be a fraud). The owner points we refer to are the season ending points, this being the 5th race, the results after todays race, will establish the starting grid from here out. Soooo, Tony's orange butt (which helped Pam win, even thought she had threatened him with pink slip) is on the Pole! The bug-eyed Idiot alongside in the #16, et-cetera, et-cetera, et-cetera. I changed my drivers, though I could have left them undisturbed (no hollow threats here!) since Bristol is just a 130 mph demolition derby most of the time.
Yesterday's Sybil meteorology provided a few good photo opps. I was driving to Luna to retrieve and receive musical satisfaction when the rain/sleet/grey/snow/sunny/cloudy prize wheel stopped momentarily between sunny/cloudy. I was snapping like a mad man (not Bobby Darin snapping, camera snapping!) The tempestuous sky, with the brilliant side lighting made for many delightful moments. Leaving Luna I paused to take a shot of a rare sunny moment on the Chatterbox patio, and I'll be darned if I didn't have a Corona on the bar when I turned around to say sionara. Jes Valentine was the bar maiden, and as I sat and nursed La Cerveza Mas Fina, I assisted in finishing the Gannett crossword she had reached stumpage on. Two heads being better than one and she only missing about a dozen solutions we completed it before the last drop of lime enhanced golden goodness. I stood to leave just as David arrived, so I was obliged to recap the previous evenings Bowling wonders. Which obviously required a second Corona (two limes, since the first one made a break for freedom before I could crush and acclimate it to its golden grave. Sadly it forgot it was without appendages and died a horrible death on the floor).

Then off to drive home and scour for foregrounds to capture under previously described sky vistas. I saw a park, and parked. I began to wonder if the swings, slides and simian bars had been lonely for prepubescent play, tumbling toddlers and cavorting, chortling child companionship. I bet they have been miserable alone in the cold and inclement months just waiting for the return of innocent enjoyment. The have very fulfilling and important jobs and I envy them when the weather is agreeable, and pity their solitude when it is foul.

I loved the toddler swings and the contrast of the harsh but beautiful sky. I smiled to myself, imagining a Sumo wrestler who had lost so much weight he needed chains to hold up his Mawashi belt. Sionara.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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Bleak Winter Indiana Arboreal Equine Scene #6. Chuck Pace ©2006

First the good news: Last night "Four Get It" did just what we needed to do. We won 5 points. Games 2 and 3 and series by a very pisces looking 69. Mel loaned the King Kong suit to Ed, who was indeed a giant 10th frame gorilla in our two victories. a four bagger in two, and a turkey in three. Ed pulled a 160 average for the night (23 over his actual), Travis played well enough to earn the Pez, even though he only had one 160+ game. I had one game under average, then two well over and finished with a 500 and also had a four bagger with the first strike in the 10th, closing with a spare and 180. Mel peaked in the first game, valleyed in two then came back and beat her average again in three. We knocked the "Rather Be Fishing" crew off their pier, they were in a tie with "Are We Done Yet?" with 117 going into the nights competition.

Now the Bad News: "Three Men and a Lady", our adversary for last place won all of their games over the "Phat Men" so in beating the #1 team we actually dropped 2 points farther from our goal! Life can be so unfair. The lanes we were n, 21 and 22 were the Voodoo lanes last night, and they, more than any of my teammates or myself were the downfall of the Perdue and Craft team. Still a win is a win. Just like a sloppy lucky strike, we have to take it.

In other parts of the World: I got a call from Rich before heading out to the bowling alley. He was at Shadrack's campground in Bristol, and told me that Richard "Blockhouse" Riechert had extra tickets for John Q. and I if we could get there before Sunday. I tried to explain my financial disposition, saying I would only be watching the Race through the eyes of the Fox Sports camera crews on Sunday.

Random back and forth Thoughtpuking!: I forgot to download any of the photos I took Thursday. There are a few fun ones. I found a thick pelted winter horse grazing under a very craggy looking tree (I don't think I get to keep it, because I didn't really find it, I just encountered it in my open sunroof roving in the Blue Bavarian Bomb). I also snuck a shot of the dental tray "squid" while the hygienist was putting a smock over her S&M leathers in the other room.
After the bowling Mel, Ed Pam and I all went to Steak and Shake, to watch people, and eat Steak burgers. Pam told us more about Indiana Farm Bureau's Project Excel which she is heavily involved in, I told the assembled crew about Meredith and David's happenings and awards in Florida, and Mel, inspired by the talk of artistic and energetic, created a Jackson Pollock like chili and condiment masterpiece on the canvas of her grey sweat-sack, it was very artistic, without palate knife or brush she improvised with sweeps of napkins to create swirls of interest and activity. Travis vanished with his Pez before he could even be invited to dinner, we suspect he would rather be with his betrothed, but who knows, maybe he just needed some alone time with the Kasey Kahne Pez.

Yesterday I took only one photo, of Jenni's and my college friend the timeless, ageless Elizabeth Mahoney (who said I better NOT put her picture on the web-site), I think she'll reconsider after I sell her a digital SLR and accessories in the near future. Elizabeth is a graphic designer and needs digital tools to further her "empire". Until I get the o.k. she is not only ageless, she's faceless (on my site). I see Elizabeth a few times every year now for the last six or seven years. Jenni hadn't seen her since 1982 until yesterday, just as we were closing the store. Jenni met me in the parking lot, I dragged her back in to see Elizabeth who was waiting to check out. I forgot to get a photo o the two of them together. Oh well, I would not have been able to show one of the faces anyway!

Chuck Pace ©2006
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Over, done with, gone.

Now just hold the thumb loosely to the side, We call this the "Nick Charles"
Chuck Pace ©2006

By the time I get to work Rich, the guy who gets all the mentions will be just a couple of hours away from Bristol TN. He is going for his 4th consecutive Spring Nascar Race. The race is bumped up a week or two from the previous years, and I'll bet there is going to be some serious cold weather for camping. I stay and hold down the fort and anchor position of the "Four Get It team. We who are in last place face the "Rather Be Fishing" team of the Perdue's who are in first place. They have already won 50 more games than us. We still have 3 weeks to play, to try to get out of last place. Travis DiNicola has offered his bowling skills, and promised to be in top form for tonight's exercise. I snapped a shot of Rich giving Travis some last minute instructions on how to hold his hand if he should end up in a Film Noir Movie scene. The martini glass or pipe pose, "It really just depends on the jacket your wearing," I think overheard one of them say. Travis is a rostered "For Get It" bowler with a 148 average. If he can pull off a couple of 160 efforts we should be O.K. Mel needs to be wearing her King Kong suit, Ed needs a big night (during the bowling), and I need to "Be the Anchorman", man. Even winning three or four points should help us on our quest to get out of the bowling basement. If Travis bowls well I will let him have the Kasey Kahne Pez I got for him. If not...?

Yesterday I was off, I had a dental appointment, a banking appointment, a car wash appointment and a video appointment to watch the most recent (taped) episode of Lost. Which was once again great, but really just a set up for all the stuff in the "on next weeks Lost" teaser. I fell asleep in the new recliner, and awoke 90 minutes later with Tweek in the middle of my chest, purring away. I really intended to try and take advantage of the 51° weather to do more outside. I even went to Frady's outdoor center on Highway 40 to get some ideas, and look around before I came home and did the Lost episode. I just ended wasting more time lounging after my nap. Speaking good shows, and Nick and Nora Charles The Thin Man movies are finally all available on DVD. Even in a boxed set. Check 'em out through my Amazon link, or rent them from Net Flix. They are great fun.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll have good news about the Bowling. I'm sure to have something to say, one way or another. The new "Chase for the Next Swell Cup" Mention Meter format is up, but the totals have not been calculated yet, that's a weekend deal! Dang It! Tina eat some ham.

"That Rug Really Tied the Room Together!" Chuck Pace ©2006
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Mass Ave. 21 hours after the 5.2 inches of snow. Indiana weather, huh! Chuck Pace ©2006
First a little business, then an observation and warning.
Last night the Chatterbowlers II, with David Andrichik subbing for Will, went into the final game of the Wednesday 10 for 10 league needing to win all 7 points to tie the Foul Language guys for first (and with the tie-breaking pin count win). Even worse the third place team, "Keller's Killers" were only 2 points behind us. If we lost one and they won them all we would be relegated to third, and not given a berth in the upcoming tournament (only the 1 and 2 teams in each 10 for 10 advance to the money round). We stomped them in game one, lost the next two, still we carried series, 3 points. It looked like the Keller's won two and series for 5 points, and we held on to 2nd place, but I have to wait to see the official posting at the sportbowl website to confirm. In a win/loss tie with Kellers we still win because we have the highest total pin-fall count of all 5 teams. Keep your fingers crossed fans. Papa needs the moohlah!

So, I admit I've gotten a little less tolerant. I expected to mellow more with age, but I have a gripe. I always tried to be open minded towards them. Not really understanding why so many people have such problems with them. That was when I was young, when I'd see them back then they were someone else's problem, and I sure didn't notice them as often as I do now. Now I've built myself a happy little life, and they start showing up here too. Suddenly they are my problem to host. I see now how they come in, infiltrate if you will, and eventually take over, drowning out the desirable, until they are the only ones left, or even worse after they've forced the good out, they leave too and there's only a desolate, glaring, blank eyesore in their absence. They show up almost unnoticed at first, just one or two. If you aren't paying attention they can even go undetected or unnoticed for great periods of time. Then there's a few more, showing up in places you thought were off limits to them, protected from the likes of them. Then it starts to get personal. They have this way of blending in at first, going unnoticed among their neighbors. It's just as likely one of your friends will tell you they saw them in your area even before you noticed them there yourself. Friends often delight in telling you they have started moving into your places, but they will soon have them moving into their neighborhoods as well. By the time there are enough to make a real scene it's too late! They are everywhere. Try to get used to it. Some tolerate them, saying they are fine with them, saying they don't care, that maybe I'm a little more distinguished just because I accept them, maybe I'm a better person because I don't mind them being there, but I don't know anybody who really wants them there, or was glad to see them showing up. We all know that where there's one there will soon be clumps of them, whole families of them.
Tolerance? Maybe. Wanting them there? No way Jose, whole different story. Some try to ignore them, then it's too late, they own the whole mess. Others say it's inevitable change, just give in as you get older, it's just the way things are (they were around when you were kid, you just never thought they would move in on you), but nobody ever says this is a good thing, or that this is progress. Still others try removing them at first, uprooting them before they establish a strong hold and presence. There's denial and even cover-ups. Some people act like they really think they belong, while others who try to hide their presence from their friends. But I tell you they are coming. Get used to the idea now, if they aren't already right up on you, they will be! Everybody has to deal with gray hair. I heard of people dyeing from it, but I've never heard of anybody dying from it. Maybe I do look a little more distinguised salt and peppered.

Yesterday, while being a menace (a job my older brother Dennis is much more qualified for), I walked up to Mr. Wilson's desk with my Sony camera on and cupped in my right hand, which otherwise appeared to be slack at my side. When Mike looked up at me I rotated the hand, and just as he reacted to the motion, snapped this terse, stern and forboding photo of Mike. "What's tha..." He started to say even after the flash lived up to its billing, then cognition caught up with perception and it was blinking silence for a few moments. I pulled the camera around and reviewed the shot that you are now also viewing, I have not cropped, leveled or straightended this shot, just resized and darkended it a tiny bit.

"I've Got a Minature Secret Camera, (Secret, Secret)" Peter Murphy, track 10, Love Hysteria,1988.
Today, my day off, I am going to the dentist, so I have to eat onion and guacamole, and a box of Oreo's before 10, so I've got a mission. Seizures on de utter side (sound like a dutch cow spasm, doesn't it).

Chuck Pace ©2006
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I can tell you in no uncertain terms that as a bowler, C. Scott Proctor is a heck of a musician. Yes he is quite a troubadour off the bowling surfaces and approaches. On the alleys, that a whole different tune. On the other hand (I have a full complement of hands to refer to) last night I set two goals for my lovely bride. A 120 game, and a 300 series. She accomplished the second, but just fell shy of the first (sometimes you've got to watch out for the shy ones). 113, 109, 97. 319 Series!!! That's two weeks in a row that our fledgling kegeler has pulled off 100+ doubles, and all with a 85 average. I'm as proud and happy as a clam (clams always look happy, the shape of their bivalve shells coming together looks like a bemused smile). I took the two photos (without flash) as indisputable evidence that through 7 frames, Jenni was actually beating Rich, two lanes over! I was horrible last night, and I didn't bowl well either. Poorly, Despicably or, in the immortal words of Nick Wiesinger, Not So Much! The other team "4" kicked our humble behinds. The only shining "Spare Parts" bowlers were Jenni and Mel "King Kong" Shoffner, who actually took a commuter train off the "L" and dumped its passengers out through the torn off end last night! Mel was trying for a rare 500 series, she just didn't know it. 499 ladies and gentlemen, 499.

Like so many bowling evenings, we started at the Chatterbox where all the usual suspects were arranged by drink choice. No not really. Travis and Brooks, David A., Matt Theobald, Richard Plath, Dick Walton, Jack Green, the Beukes, Kay, Jody F., Jenni, Mel, Scott Proctor, Rich, Mike Wilson and I were all there, while DeAnne played taps. These are the people who have no more of a life than me. Somebody threw Mama from the Train onto our usual choice table and seating arrangements, so we were up front about where we would have our libations.

Work? Dead as any day when you get 5.2 inches of snow through morning rush hour. And that is Generalissimo Francisco Franco dead my friends, and so is todays post. Adieu.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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Brother Can You Spare a Dime, or $4600.00 Bucks For a Cup of Telephoto Lens?
Chuck Pace ©2006


Yesterday was customer appreciation day at the store. Not officially but, man I really appreciated having customers in the store! Again. It can be a very lonely time waiting for your next lens cap, or battery sale, time often spent in useless self deprecation and introspection, (if I were a little better person, could I maybe sell a camera bag to a deserving guest? should I join Kay on the South Beach diet? Is a manwich "really" a meal?) but yesterday the flood gates opened for a little while. We had "film" guys, former "film" guys, and reluctant digital, "I wish I could still be a 'film' guy", guys crowd in and, well look. O.K. some bought, some talked about finances, and the next big purchase, some just talked. Speaking of speaking, the black hole of labor, Darryl Jones was in looking, considering, cogitating, contemplating, examining, pondering, meditating, and weighing his next purchase. He had to make two trips, because the first time in he forgot to reflect, regard or seriously deliberate. I took his photo during a pensive moment. I could of filled the memory card with Darryl's pensive moments, but one was enough for me. I kid because I care Darryl, please don't sue me. I asked if I need a model release, he just laughed it off (that's for the laywers). Another "film" guy, Rich Phelan was bragging about picking up some old enlargers and darkroom equipment for a song. Well keep singin' Rich, maybe they'll start making darkroom paper again at Kod... the yellow father, Nah! You don't sing that well, nobody does, know what I mean? Then there was Greg Pappagiannis, a great guy, personable as all heck, with just a little Darryl Jones disorder at times. He's still talking up his next big purchase, and he does make BIG purchases from time to time. To help get to that financial big purchase state again I noticed him playing doorman up front for tips. How many quarters does it take to buy a 400 2.8?

So after the busy, running waiting on two customers at a time and fielding phone calls kind of day I of course had to stop at the Chatterbox to unwind. (note: if there has been no business, or phone calls and the day had been a complete washout, I would have had to stop at the Chatterbox to unwind). Rebecca and Jenni were there already, parked at the table in the back, looking fined. Rebecca put a handful of money on the table for the jukebox, instead of metering it out through the night. It pays to get to the Chatterbox early, I'll tell you that, there is usually a parking spot to be had near the door before 5:00. Easy parking before 5, yep, that's the ticket! That will never change.

Travis was there also, as were Brooks, Jody F., Kay, Kevin McConaughey, Dick 'two screwdrivers' Walton, and Rich Culy, with Deanne masterfully at the helm. Scott Proctor rode in with me, since his ride is also "parked" for an indeterminate amount of time.
I arranged for Scott to bowl with us tonight in the place of the Luna Moth who has a sudden affectation with bright lights and bug zappers. Ed arrived and took a seat away from the core (me) of the crew and observed. Mel arrived with a chip on, or should I say as her shoulder. No, not a chip a slab. Her back was as hard as marble and I worked on it. I used my with my powerful and skillful hands until they were cramping. Then I massaged my hands and worked some more on her forearms and her hands as well. She melted like Ice Cream when I massaged the sides of her forehead and neck. Nicci arrived and I was all massaged out so I had to take a powder, but not before I showed her the Nicci Sky photos in my camera. I left just before Pam arrived to keep Ed company. Pam called later and gloated appropriately enough about her Nascar Fantasy Victory.
"What do you mean my time is up? I put two dollars in the meter! Crap, O.K., bye for now all. Gotta' go or pay a hefty fine!"

Chuck Pace ©2006
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I titled this one Nicci Sunrise, the shots were 10 minutes apart. Chuck Pace © 2006

The sky promised a beautiful morning, but in just a few minutes the promise fell through. Since Thursday the conditions have been unseasonably mild. But today, with the Vernal Equinox upon us (Spring, chickens, spring) the weather gods are set to take all that away and more. The prognosticators of precipitation, the wizards of weather, the seers of snow have indeed foretold a tale of frozen wet and wondrous weather to usher in this new season. I will have to plast the plants I interred on Saturn's own day before the night completely falls on Cumberland fair. The forecast is for at least 6 inches of crystalline hydrogen dioxide by 9 AM on the 21st. Tomorrow.
The inevitable Bowling Reference: Tomorrow I will need the services of the Luna Moth, Maggie at the bowling alley. I got a message from David Sherry that he had re-aggravated the strain upon his knee, and would not be able to supply efficient inertia to bowling spheres to decimate pins, and must therefore bow out, take an English bow with the stiff leg slightly extended in front please David. I shall therefore endeavor to enlist the inertial talents of Maggie. She seemed rather keen on the idea one week ago.
Weather also wrecked havoc on the Racing schedule of the boys in Nextel adorned fire-suits. Due to untimely rains the Atlanta 500 was rescheduled for today at 11:00 AM ET. That, how you say, bites the grande uno. I am taping it, and try to flash watch it after tonight's rendezvous at the Chatterbox.
Mirth made from key chains. The other day at the store, while the sales buzzards were waiting for something to die, I found a key chain while I was on the phone with a person too busy to come in and kick the tires properly. Before I knew it I had molded it into a likeness of one of my coworkers, I'm not exactly sure which one though.
Loss of web Friends: I was secretly hoping that "Good Grief" was going to come back, but she stayed gone, she posted her last post "Gone Fishin'" in early February. So I removed her from my blogroll with a heavy heart, she was very funny. I also removed the son-in-law, due to atrophy, his last post was "Yule" and you can probably guess when that was.
I've reached a good disjointed random stopping point.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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The revitalized Flower Bed Collage, soon there will be flowers! Chuck Pace© 2006
Looks like I've got news, apologies and some business to attend to here. First the apologies. Yesterday was Jonathon David "Jody" Grober's real birthday. March 18th. He so hates anybody to know when it really is that I was going to post it Friday, and it slipped my mind completely, I'm sorry Jody, and wil rectify the problem over and over, I promise. Another Jody had a birthday on Thursday, perennial Chatterboxer Jody Frick, sadly I was unable to make an appearance to supply a birthday libation on Thursday, I'm sorry Jody, and will rectify the problem over and over, I promise. Lastly, and the biggest. On last Mondays Night Stalker Revealed post I inadvertantly stated that Kay was "firing Tony's Orange Butt!" after receiving an e-mail. Well, I did receive that in an e-mail, but it was from Pam Walker, not Kay. Pam has been given two bonus Mention Meter points for my error, and my eternal apologies. I'm sorry Pam, and will rectify the problem over and over, I promise. After I post this entry I will begin the updates on the Meter. So there will be a second update on the site later in the day. I will update the Mention Meter over and over again, I promise


The New Look Front Room, Lounge and Reception Area: Chuck Pace ©2006

Yesterday Jenni went to L.Fish and picked up our new leather recliner. It is über comfortable and awesome. I like it, I like it a lot. We had to do considerable rearranging of the front room and chuckpace.com world headquarters reception area and lounge. While Jenni was picking up the chair I was outside tearing out an overgrown, unattended flower bed that desperately needed attention. We had herbs overrun the entire thing and choke out a bunch of older plants, and it was basically a mess. I did an after shot, should have done a before, but kinda just saw and responded after walking Charlie in the morning. I started at about 9 AM and wasn't finished until almost 3 PM. Then I had to take all the furniture out of the "reception/lounge" room, vacuum and carpet clean the high traffic areas, remove and launder the curtains, clean the sliding glass doors, clean the sliding glass doors again with a different cleaner, clean the sliding glass doors again to kill the streaks left behind from the second cleaner, and rehang the curtains. Then we got to enjoy the comforts of home, watching The Transporter on FX, while a fire in the fireplace warmed and beautified the room.

Next: Nextel Cup at Atlanta. I hope I have made the proper picks, I feel good about my team. " Let's go Racin' Boogity, Boogity, Boogity!"

Check in later for the updated, final Mention Meter before the "Race For the Cup!" starts on Monday!

Chuck Pace ©2006
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The Eternal Line at the Irish Pub. Chuck Pace ©2006

Yesterday was indeed a rare St. Patty's day, falling on a Friday . Definitely a Green Light for many to take the day off and try to recover for the next two days. One of what I call the "Amateur Nights" where pedestrian and inexperienced drinkers throw all caution, reason and sanity to the wind. The photograph above was taken at 2:30 PM yesterday, but could have been taken at 10:30 AM or 7:00 PM. In fact when I left work across the street at 5:38 PM the line was longer than that!

I was on my way to the Bowling Arena for week 27 of 30. I refrained from over imbibement at the Kegeling House, knowing (or at least hoping) there were would be heightened numbers of "Safety Officers" on the hiways and byways of this great land of the free and home of the brave partier. I don't go out on New Year's Eve or any of the other big over indulging holidays either as a rule. Self preservation. You never know how much "fun" the guy coming up to the next intersection, or on the other side of the white lines may have had. I have from time to time been that other guy, and am more than thankful to have never had a serious problem.

At the bowling alley then. We, the last place team (in 14th place) came in 13 points behind the thirteenth place team, and were head to head with them. Mel is out of town, as I mentioned yesterday, so Jeff "Skippy" Barber was bowling in her normal spot. He did exactly what we need of him, pulling a series 10 over his average and backing a 9th a strike and spare frame in the closest game to help us not lose. Ed Sipes also bowled over his average, Rich and I fell just short of our series averages. All three games came down to me having to close strong just to pull off the win, which I did in the first two. The final game I was once again head to head with Tony Hurst of "Three Men and A Lady", our opponents. They were ahead by 21 pins. Tony bowls a Strike, I bowl a Strike (backing a spare). He bowls leaving the 10 pin. I bowl, leaving the 10 pin. He misses the 10. So now I can lose the game or tie with my 10. In this final game I had left 6 singles (four 10's in a row) out of 9 nine counts, only sparing the 5, 8 and 10 pins once and was having a horrible game, (probably a result of bowling nearly sober). Rich yells out that a pick-up will tie it. I was of course infinitely aware of that. I stepped up, the last bowler active in the place, all of the other teams finish faster that "Three Men and A Lady" every week; Studied my 10 pin and my 10 pin pick-up mark, which wasn't doing me so much good last night, wound up and drilled it. Tie Game. We won 6 points, them 1. Now we're are only 8 pins back in last place, and we have three more weeks to make up some more of the deficit. Sure we bowl the #2 place team next week, without Rich who will be in Bristol for the Spring Nascar Race. But if we can take one, or maybe two points we can still advance.

So after lunch yesterday, which I took with Rich, W. Mike Wilson and Jenni at Penn Station as far away from bars and St. Patrick's revelers as we could get, I made up for forgetting to photograph Stacy on Thursday. I went up to our mail order department and clicked off a couple of shots. Including this one with the cool sun on the blinds behind.

Monday The Mention Meter begins it's "Chase for the Cup" phase with the 10th place qualifier starting with 120 points and each position up getting 2 more added to their points tally. I will continue to count points for the rest of the participants until March 31st. Then a new quarter begins and a new Meter. With a new Goal at the end of that run. A different "Prize" and anybody's game.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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I'm sure by now that we all know what day it is. Tommorrow many of the temporary Irish will have trouble remembering what day it is/was. Yesterday Jenni and I joined Mike Wilson, Rich and Stacy Binder (the Roberts Web Master) at the Claddagh Irish Pub in beautiful downtown Indianapolis. We figured to get a jump on the "Kiss Me I'm Irish, Shamrock Shysters" plus we needed to be served in a timely fasion. One out of two ain't bad, we beat the crowd by a day. I should have taken a photo of Stacy for this post, but noooooo, and I had a camera on my hip, like always. Oh well, it was a good lunch and that should be enough for memorys sake.
Tonight, yep, you guessed it. More bowling. I hate to say it but I'm getting a little bowled out. Bowled over if you will. But when you really don't have much of a life, you attach yourself to anything for as long as you can and ride it. Just don't step in front of the yellow line while the life is in motion! Not much chance of that.
After working until 6:30 Jenni and I went to L.Fish Furniture and purchased a really comfortable leather recliner, which we will pick up on Saturday, I will most likely be levitating the loveseat it replaces until I can dispose of it properly, I suppose I could put it on the patio, but I'm gonna' need to put a couple of cars on blocks out there first. I took the skytrio shots on my way home last night. Fin!

Chuck Pace ©2006
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Last night was indeed the Ides of March! Ericka Embrey's birthday, and the anniversary of my getting stern warnings from DeAnne about not car-bombing Pam and Ericka anymore since they had been drinking since noon! Last year I also met Ericka's beau Mourad. He was there again last night with some scrumptious fried catfish (who needs cake!). Other celebrants at the festive Ide's included Heather Emge, Pam and Eddie, John David, myself and Rich. David Andrichik, Bill Brooks and Travis were at the box on round one as well as Skippy Barber, yes. Skippy (I don't remember seeing Kay, and there was clearly no Mike Wilson!) Skippy was there because I called him to come and get his own copy of the Herb Alpert re-deux CD Re-Whipped from Maggie at the Luna Annex, which I am listening to even as I type todays riveting post!

David A (subbing for Wil), Rich and I all shot out for our bowling outing at the Sport bowl for week 9 of the 10 week league. Rich and I took his Jeep to the alley, since it was decided that we would have to return and car-bomb Ericka into oblivious birthday joy. We were met there by David Beuke, and as team Chatterbowlers II won two and series. Back to the Box after a quick stop at Rich's for fund-age transfer.

The Chatterbox was a hopping joint when we returned from our Bowling too. DeAnne was on for Vanessa, who was there when we left, Nicci and Emily Sterger were there too, Nicci working, Emily socializing. David bought my first Corona and Rich's first Sam Adams, then I switched to Sprite, and soon called it an evening.

That's all I got to say about the Ides of March. You were already warned anyway! Et to Brute?


Pam practices Air Darts, while Eddie calls for a psyche counsel under a light storm!
Chuck Pace © 2006

Graffiti for the disembodied JD head! Rich Culy ©2006 (head-shot only)
Chuck Pace ©2006
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Are You Kidding Me? You Must Be Kidding Me? Chuck Pace © 2006

So I often wake up with an obscure song in my head. This morning, from the first alarm, showering, dressing all the way through sitting down just now to postulate on posting, it's been, "Space Junk" by DEVO. An infectious little ditty, that makes your toes tap and your joy buzzer buzz. With DEVO you'll get a grin, again and again. Without falling from Grace, I would have to say, They're Righteous Dudes, Ed.

"Space Junk"
Gerald V. Casale, Bob Mothersbaugh

She was walking all alone
Down the street in the alley
Her name was Sally
She never saw it
When she was hit by space junk
In New York Miami Beach
Heavy metal fell in Cuba
Angola Saudi Arabia
On xmas eve said norad
A soviet sputnik hit Africa
India Venezuela (in Texas
Kansas)
It’s falling fast Peru too
It keeps coming
And now I’m mad about space junk
I’m all burned out about space junk
Oooh walk & talk about space junk
It smashed my baby’s head
And now my Sally’s dead

Last night the balls were flying and the approaches were slick, all of the Spare Parts were working well together, Jenni reached her goal twice in the same night! But before all of that happened we had to go to the bowling alley and compete in our 10 for 10 league. My team "Spare Parts" were playing a group of well mannered, polite guys with the well conceived name 1, which coincides with their league starting night team assignment on day one. To think I often stew for upwards of 5 minutes about the naming of a new bowling team. These guys just seized the obvious and squeezed the essence out of it by doing nothing. ZEN dudes. Very Zen.
So anyway I'm off on a tangent, focus. Focus.
Jenni bowled a 67 first game, and I started coaching like I actually was a good bowler or some stuff, and she was able to reach her first goal, a game over 100. In fact she had two games of 101 each after the sizzling.., er fizzling start! Next goal (bowling again) a true 300 series, back to back to back 100+ games. Swell. David Sherry was not therry so Skippy Barber came to our rescue with a descending grouping that, well, mystified at times. times. Starting with 147, 128 and a walloping 93. That's o.k. we won 5 points, but surrendered the final game by 33 pins. Good enough to get us back in second place, four points behind the Chatterbowler (version 3.0) monsters. Mike Wilson also had an up and down night (at least at the bowling alley) starting with a 207 then a stellar collapse to 111, his final score was somewhere between, but I didn't record it for prosperity of anything else. Mel is off to a conference today, and will not be bowling on the Friday Night league, so Jeff Barber is subbing there too. We are soooo in last place there that nothing can make us better or worse, but we bowl on. I loaned Mel my Nikon Coolpix 950, to get some blackmail shots of her bosses in action. Not until I was handing it over in the parking lot of the bowling alley did I realize I had left the memory card on the desk at the www.chuckpace.com World Headquarters. Luckily, Rich was able to pull a rabbit out of his hat and provide her with the needed memory. If I had better memory, then , um, ...
So I'll be 46 on Friday April 14th, that's the night of the winter league pay-out and a chance to split the losers till six ways with my "Four Get It!" teamers! I'll be heading to the Chatterbox to spend my pittance on, wait I remember, I know this one. Corona's. Remember only 1 month remains, 26 shopping days until April 14th.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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Hey, Maggie! Try to look serious for crying out loud! Melissa Shoffner ©2006

Last night I did a little catching up with friends. Where you might ask? But you already know where. It was Monday night after all. There was an ever changing parade of familiar faces at the Box, of course i did stay until 10:15 PM so I expect that had a lot to do with it. Most of the usual suspects were there. When I got there there were folks sitting at the tables next to the window, the weather cooperating to make it a nice enough night for patio boxers. The window people were Stephanie Roos hubby Eric, Rudy Gonzales David A. and Rich. I said howdy to David and Steph, but my business was elsewhere.
Inside Brian Myers was at the bar talking to DeAnne and in the back by the still kicking jukebox sat Jenni and Rebecca. I joined them and DeAnne brought me my first Harp. Soon Rich joined us inside, the Jody F. and Mary Ann Beuke arrived, followed by Kay. Travis arrived at around 6:20 and I showed him my Kasey Kahne Pez dispenser, which made him go, "Oooohhh, hoo hoo. Where'd you get THIS!" Then he bent back Kasey's helmet and took a pink Pez directly with his teeth. It was disturbing, to say the least. Kay spent a little time telling us about her first day of spring break, and the gardening plus she launched a blog, which I have linked to. Catering Kay, the Constant Gardener, o.k. so it's called Kaysdays. Mel showed up at 6:40 followed closely by Liz. Shortly thereafter Jenni and Rebecca headed out, then Rich. Leaving Mel and I to talk and laugh and cry together. 16 candles was on the TV over the fridge, and we watched the end of that. Then I showed DeAnne and Mel my daughter Meredith's photos, which I always have with me (that's when I teared up). Nicci came down and pointed to her shoulders, so after a hard shoulder rub on an even harder woman I sat back down and talked with Mel even more. Then the elusive Luna Moth, Maggie Lynn Hilt, made her first appearance of 2006 (at the box anyway) a sure sign that spring is just around the corner. She's a Wild Child. We laughed and shared photos and Bernie the Italian Greyhound stories. Then we talked of strange and wondrous things, "Then we spoke of Loraine, Always back to Loraine."

Meredith Anne @10 months, Four years and Nine years old. The Wallet Daughter Gallery.
Chuck Pace ©1986, 1989, 1991, 2006
David Sherry of my Tuesday Night bowling team tore up his knee in at work the other day, so he is replaced tonight by 'Skippy" Barber. If David S. is unable to roll on the following week it will be the Luna Maggie Moth at the three holed orb shrine!

Chuck Pace ©2006
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In true competitave spirit I have decided that Next Monday I will take the top 10 mentioned (or anyone within 20 points of the leader), and start them over, mathmaticacly eliminating the others from the top prize. The prize will be a swell chuckpace.com cup and coaster set (as pictured). So everybody get geared up for the "Race for the Next Swell Cup!" This should be a Sprint!
Don't ask me where I get these ideas, I've got so many things racing around in my head. Racing, racing! I should get a passport, or visa and take a race break, maybe take the Family to France! Imagine the Bill.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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Watch Out Where You're Digging in the Dirt! Chuck Pace © 2006

Yesterday was a fine day. A mixed weather bag, so to speak; pea soup thick fog before the sun did it's burn off trick (I was at Marsh, and parked thirty feet from the door, but I couldn't see the car when I looked back into the fog), then touching 70° by around 2:00 PM, and yet another torrential rain by 10:30 PM.
I started the day by picking up Newspapers, ground coffee and some Roses for my bride, whom I left still asleep. Around noon we went driving and enjoying the terrific weather, came home and played grill masters, watched and advanced in the Nascar league, and ended the evening watching "Walk the Line", which Mel loaned us for just that purpose. While outside pulling some grass from a rock garden, I decided to rearrange the rocks. I re-discovered Ms. Red Legs, the arachnid, she is bigger around than a 50 cent piece, and usually a nocturnal gal (I've taken her portrait a few times over the years at night or dawn), we got some of my best shots. I'm not overly bug squeamish, but I don't care to mess with spiders, so I decided after our photo session, where she gave me her all, to take my business elsewhere. The shots were from a few inches away (oh, how I do love my macro), and give me a creepy, what's in my hair, goose-bumpy feeling.
Today should be another bag of weather surprises, with tornado watches until noon. Jenni left early since it was not yet precipitating, but I may still be bringing it all back home tonight.
Congrats to Lightnin' for a win in the Nascar Fantasy league. He did way better than that guy who gets all the mentions! Kay e-mailed that she's firing Tony's Orange Butt! I understand Kay. I would also like to see some of the flower macro's Kay mentioned in her e-mail, she too was outside most of yesterday.
Chuck Pace ©2006
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Beware the Ides of March, hey what's that crawling on your back?

Burgers and Pork Chops, Grilling in the Winter? Chuck Pace © 2006

I wonder how many hits you get if you Google that. Let's see. I'm back, the results? It said about 22,600,000. A well used expression. Well the Nascar Nextel Cup teams are set to do Vegas Baby. My guess is that Darrell Waltrip will say Vegas Baby more times than I have already before the green flag waves the first time! I've never been to Vegas, or El paso, or much of anywhere. I'm just a hayseed livin' in central Indiana.
What a beautiful day, perfect spring-like weather. It got over 70° today, so I spent a lot of time outside doing yard clean-up and just enjoying t-shirt weather, I think I even got a sunburn on my ears! Jenni and I even went cruisin' with the sunroof open and the windows down. Then we came home in time to grill out before the Nascar Race.
Not knowing exactly how long we would be gone we made our Nascar picks before we left. I'm hoping for a big showing today. I need to finish better than 23rd. The race is on, I will be back soon!
Post Race Follow-up!
So I cracked the top 10 for the first time. Tied for 9th at Vegas. I moved up two places in the league.
I can't believe another Green, White, Checker finish. Congrats to Jimmie Johnson and the Lowe's team. I wonder if there will be a normal finish this year?


Chuck Pace ©2006
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I would have to say that Mr. Richard Brockton Kingsley is exactly the kind of winner that can make us all proud. I can say unequivocally that there was not a dry eye in either house when this acceptance speech was both written and received. The accompanying e-mail also speaks volumes about the first Recipient of the Caption Contest. The judges were pleased to have such a person of character and obvious upbringing receiving the first award. Here then is the quoted e-mail, and the Acceptance Speech.

From: *****kingsley@******.com
Subject: I look surprisingly pretty on a magnet.......
Date: March 10, 2006 5:06:32 PM CST
To: ******


I just wanted to say thank you for the shirt and also the coaster and magnet, the UPS man came yesterday and said "Are you Brock Kingsley, Erudite a**hole prick?"
And I said, "Yes, Yes I am"

Attached is my acceptance speech.
Good day and forward on!
Brock

ACCEPTANCE SPEECH GIVEN FOR THE FIRST ANNUAL CHUCKPACE.COM CAPTION CONTEST
SPEECH DELIVERED FROM COLUMBUS, OHIO


Wow. Thank you. Thank you. Please, the applause really isn’t necessary. Thank you, please, sit down. Wow, this is great. The shirt is even more beautiful in person, and soft. Yes, the magnet and coaster were indeed a surprise, and I am grateful for all surprises, especially winning this contest. Let me just get this list of people to thank… First I would like to thank some unspecified deity of an unspecified religion, without him/her/it, none of this would be possible. Second I would like to thank Smalls for always believing in me, and encouraging me: I love you. My heart felt appreciation goes out to Mike Novak. If you weren’t you, well, I wouldn’t have had half as many quotes. But, you make it so easy, to imagine the strange and (somewhat) wonderful things that could possibly come out of your mouth. I would also like to thank the Internet for allowing the creation of blogs and websites. Last but not least, Chuck Pace whose efforts with the camera and site upkeep have allowed all of us to engage in a somewhat voyeuristic…Hey! Stop the music! I’m not done yet . . . voyeuristic lifestyle while reading the insightful posts on chuckpace.com. Keep em’ coming buddy! I will cherish this award forever. Thank you. Thank you very much.

End quote: I reprint that in it's entirety without addition or correction, because that's how it should be. I would have done the same for Travis, had he had the good manners to give an acceptance speech when he received the first ever Mention Meter Award. Perhaps Travis was bit overwhelmed, Excitable Boy They All Said!

Bowling Recap #11,312: The assembled team of Four Get It, got it good last night, loosing all games, face and pin count by 219. At the merciful end I was able to under awful the rest of my team with the finishing with the highest crappy series score. That's why I am the anchor, "Albatross, albatross" so that I can pull off the miracle defeats when it looks like a rally is at hand! Not really, failure is a team effort, and we failed as a team last night.

IN 2005 AND 2006
CHUCK "HAPPY PAPPY" PACE
COMMANDED A SQUADRON
OF FIGHTER BOWLERS. THEY
WERE A COLLECTION OF
MISFITS AND SCREWBALLS
WHO BECAME THE TERRORS
OF THE SPORT BOWL
THEY WERE KNOWN AS THE
"BLACK SHEEP"

I'm the leader of this little ragtag crew, That makes me responsible! Before the night was over I told Rich that I would not be summer bowling this year.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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That was weird. I was running quite behind this morning, really not much was going my way. Turns out very little was going to go my way all day. But the worst thing that happened only barely happened. I never before have left the house before the site upload was completed. Of course in the previous 170 posts I've never had a FTP upload "directory" Error either. Why would it, I would have been there to re-do and all would have been right with the burgeoning .com empire I am carving out of my mind soap! It could only successfully irritate me by happening the one time in 171 posts that I left while the processes were in process. That's Computers is the phrase we use at Roberts when some total system snafu takes a dump on us and the system, so now I have to add "That's Computers" to my chuckpace.com repertoire! I will never abandon a post while it's being born to the web again, so I can never recreate this one particular moment of angst either. Give me new, fresh, just brewed angst every-time.
Chuck Pace ©2006
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Yesterday I was yo-yo. Driver, and Knight in Shining Armor.
I took Jenni to work, visited with Charlie Schleicher at the new 21st and Shadeland Starbucks she is assistant managing, resuspended my BMW exhaust pipes, came back downtown to lunch with Jenni and Rita from work, went to Home Depot for replacement commode handle and installed that, then downloaded a few albums into iTunes, then, again back downtown to Anthem to retrieve Jenni. Before driving the 12 plus miles yet again we (I) decided to pop into the Chatterbox, as much to get out of the rain as to postpone the last yo.
David was the sole Staffer when we arrived. Mel was there awaiting company, and Jenni and I gladly obliged. Soon Rich came in too, and a partial (to what?) Wednesday Night Mens club was suddenly having a impromptu meeting. Rich said that he asked Mike Wilson, to join but he took a pass and took on the chin last night. Richard Plath came down to our end of the bar and joined us in conversation mostly directed by the news cast over the fridge. Alysha arrived to take over the bar-maiden duties and David soon doffed a Crocodile Dundee hat and braved the monsoon. Kay arrived without mac and cheese. Then Deanne, Mike Lamm and Nicci H. arrived for drinking and conversation. I was heading out to the car to collect jukebox quarters when I got a cell call. It was Rebecca, whom I had not seen in over three weeks. She was sitting in her car, and did not see me walking the soaked streets, I walked up, recommended she close the moon roof of her VW, hung up my cell phone and we walked in to the box together. Soon the dulcet tones of vinyl and needle were projecting throughout the enclosed chamber at 45 revolutions per minute.

Cinderbecca's Grating Slipper! (No where near Midnight, Punkin') Chuck Pace © 2006

I had to play Knight to Nicci, who called me down to try to break some of her tension. Apply a little force and evict the stress she stores in her back when painting, and when not painting. Deanne, the double jointed thumb-er could not assist, so an expert was called in. Me. After about 5 minutes I was able to make hard sheets of muscle into hard lumps, and I returned to my crew. Rebecca goes to the facility, and returns a little later with an offer of photo opp in the restroom (well)! Turns out it was nothing nefarious, just her shoe heel having a grate time without her. I de-stressed yet another Damsel by recovering the slippery slipper and again returned to my libations. Rich left after two or so, but hatched a plan with me involving Travis and Liz before going.
Lo and behold not long after the Rich egress, the selfsame Travis and Liz appeared before my wondrous eyes. The recently arrived had come from fencing class, where Travis had repeatedly "whacked" Liz. (Before Liz, Trav only performed soliloquy whacks.) I quote "Whack, whack, whack, it was great, whack, whack, whack! ".

I told Travis and Liz of Rich's recently incubated plan and they whole heartedly agreed. So it's on in two weeks! I tried to pay and take my own Princess back to the off-ivory tower, but my money was no good. Cinderbecca had provided for all of our libations, as well as a couple sets of "Buttery Nipples" for all around the table (with me and the three women, that's a lot of Buttery Nipples!) Much thanks to Rebecca for sponsoring the The (not-so) Sacred Knight of the Monsoon Yo-yo

Tonight! More Bowling. The most exciting thing I ever do! Ooohhh, bet you can't wait for a pin by pin count recounting on tomorrows posting. I'm counting on it. So tomorrow I go from Knight to Count!

Chuck Pace ©2006
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East Street Translucent Dream #1: Chuck Pace © 2006

Rain. Cold Weather. Car Problems. Truck Problems. Problems problems. On this, my day off I have to get up and get ready for the day just like it was any work day. The trucks windshield wipers don't. The clouds do. Jenni can't drive a Manual Trannied flivver, and I can't begin the day off, off. Since I get to drive the 12.6 miles to get her to Anthem, I might as well go the extra 3 blocks, and drop into the store. I need to generate a report and reprint some tickets for my last ever Konica-Minolta sales incentive spiff check. The camera concern of K-M goes belly up at the end of the month, and sales rep Vinnie will be in the store to get our last receipts for remuneration purposes, today, my day off. After that I will go home again. Only to Yo-Yo later in the day-day. Joy, joy.

Hey, everything' alright. This is Buddy Christ, one of the "Dogma" Bobble heads I bought for Rich at Christmas. Buddy is still adorning the Power staging area of the Roberts eBay empire. Blurry in the background are more "toys" a Mark and Slick Pacers Radio Announcers bobble, and a Tony Stewart Coca-Cola Drivers, Arby's bobble. So don't go slamming that office door, or heads are going to bobble. Sounds a little hollow doesn't it (shake your head up and down quickly, then gradually slow down, and finally stop if you agree).

Bowling Tidbits: Just Two More Dynamic Weeks Remain! Wednesday Night 10 for 10 is almost at an end. We maintained our second place standing last night, and advanced 1 win farther from 3rd place, but were unable to sweep. We took the first and last games, they conquered us in the middle one, so much so that they took pin count. Not one of the Chatterbowlers bowled a final game to be proud of, or at our average, but still enough to win by 6 pins.


Spring Fever: Only 11 more days of winter. Vernal Equinox (wasn't he the principle of Loogootee High School, Pam?) occurs on March 20th, and night and day will have equality, and all good little boys and girls will awake to find a spring under their pillows from the spring fairy! Now Remember! Don't put this spring in your mouths kiddies, that's how you get Spring Fever! (Only twelve more days until Yak Shaving Day!, Joy, Joy!) I don't know nutthin' else to tell ya. So.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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Matrix? Red-Eye? Fan-mail From Some Flounders? Chuck Pace ©2006

So I have it from good sources that my bowling recaps are boring and many of my otherwise faithful readers skip through them praying for any nugget of non-kegeling news. I realize I have a responsibility to be interesting to the world, maybe even other worlds, there is that Blue Andorian who was in the store. I know he visits my site from time to time. Hey I got a visit from Hungary yesterday. So just a quick recap: Last night Jenni missed her first official 100 by 1 pin in game one. My team won 2 and series, mostly on Mel and David Sherry's games. Rich's team, bowling themselves (or the vacant team if you will) won all three. Travis was in for David A. who was at the Pacers/Knicks Game with Heather Baslie and John David.
On to the less oppressive news.
Monday while letting coworkers into Camera Central I noticed a black shape gliding on the sidewalk on the other side of Meridian. A woman in all black with a tall collared "Matrix" coat on and black hair. I immediately found a scrap of blank paper and started "remembering " it for the site. That is the header image today.
Rich got the new Jeep top on with John Q's (who should go public?) help. I also need to mention here that Rich could, with a little work, get his Jeep in his garage, I on the other hand have to practically levitate the lawn mower just to get it out of my stuffed garage.
Yesterday was Steve Singleton's birthday, so after the boring, er.. bowling. Jenni and I popped back to the Chatterbox just long enough for me to buy him a shot, and to car-bomb poor Pam. Eddie purchased a rubber ducky and other cherished gifts for Steve, and of course there's always a birthday smooch. Now on with your interesting lives. I have taken enough of your precious time.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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I'm just guessing, I really don't know, but I would bet there has been an adult "actor" with the name Stormy Weather. There is a chance of thunderstorms today. In my life there is always a chance of thunderstorms. With thunder there is lightning. To the left is the painting I bought from Nicci Herren titled Electrical Storm. At work there is a little Lightnin' five days a week. Is it any wonder Jenni and I (along with half of Indiana) have head colds? Fifty or sixty degree days in late February, snow and mid 30's in March followed by thunderstorms? What's a Hoosier to do?

Tonight I have to stop at the Chatterbox, I didn't yesterday, a still sick Jenni came to lunch with me and then went home. Lunch? Not really, not for her. She had tea and a piece of my cantaloupe, and some lettuce from my plate at Cafe@Ray. If I'd known she didn't even feel like eating I would have given her a pass. So instead of doing the normal Monday Night Box, I went home to the Misses. Still she was good company for lunch. Becky from the front counter/repair department at work was also at the restaurant when we got there, I guess she's there a lot. You can learn a lot of interesting things about your coworkers if you pay attention. I think I heard Dawn in mail order is trying to learn Braille.
Tonight after the required box stop, there is one of my infinite number of bowling evenings, Spare Parts with Mel, Jenni and David Sherry. Week 4 of 10. Will it ever end? Rich's team will be there too (the Box and bowling). Rich will probably have a new top on his Jeep. The replacement top he bought online arrived at Roberts yesterday. He planned to install it last night at John Qualkenbush's, since John's garage is not only heated, but there is actually room in it for "running" cars. I can't let you know if the install was, installed until the next installment, kiddies.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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Expo bowl, or the Holo-deck of the Enterprise? Chuck Pace © 2006

What a crowd for the Chatterbowl at Expo. At the height of the fight I counted 26 people. Our host David Andrichik reserved 8 lanes over a month ago on the "bar" side for 1:30, we were given 4 lanes on the other side (again), and they were not ready when we got there. There were other things promised and not delivered but I think everyone had a grand time. Rich and I were the first there, and found out that we were on the B-side as Will and Dorothy Andrichik (David's parents) arrived. Next to show were Leslie (Lucy) Mastin and Chris Eppherds, then Jake N. and Melissa Shoffner, soon there was a bustling crowd (and only one bustle among us). Pam Walker arrived just in time but Kay was a little late to arrive, Rich put them both on our lanes and we had to bowl Kay's first 3 frames before she showed (I gave her one of my rare expo-strikes). Others in attendance at the Alley, David and Jo Anne Sherry, Kris Bowman and his friend Patrick, Keith Reed, Jody Frick, Deb M., River Day and Lauren K., Travis and Liz, Melissa G. (who received a late birthday gift from Travis) and Jake's better 2/3rd's, Aleana and Vanessa. Rich and Will were in contention for the championship of the world, with Rich barely taking the prize. I was just happy to break 400 on these Alien lanes, and of course to beat Travis head to head.

Kay was delayed because was still at home finishing another amazing Kay like spread of food that still has my mouth watering. Heather B. made one of her a cakes that was also a hit at Will and Dot's Superbowl party too I hear, and everyone ate to near bursting. Jenni was too ill to work or attend the festivities but I was able to take home a Kay Kare package so that she wouldn't starve. Thanks to David Andrichik For another grand time. It pays to be a regular Chatterboxer. That's why we are all so loyal. Besides Kay the other star of the day was the lovely Miss Aleana, whole stole the show and many hearts.

I used a photo from Kay's shelf for the shot above (I had to photoshop her brother out), and have no idea who gets the original photo credit. I also, sadly, cropped Vanessa out of the Aleana shot.
The rest is all me baby!

Chuck Pace ©2006
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The Ram leads the way! Butting Heads with the Air! Chuck Pace ©2006

For the last three or four days Jenni and I have been sick. I think it all goes back to Rebecca's out of State exercises last week. She went down to Missouri and came down and back misery. She was so ill when she came back, she didn't not go to work on Monday, Tuesday she put in an appearance (to spread the spoor for the mother ship) but was not there the rest of the week. By the end of day Wednesday Jenni and I were both coming down with it as well. Jenni has it really bad. I'm in a little better shape, for a month or so I have been eating a daily orange, taking multivitamins, extra C, B-6 and 12, and drinking gallons of water, plus I have my alcohol therapy, a daily libation (or six), sporadic activity, and loud, smoky environs. I kid about the amount of libations, I'm actually a casual drinker, ask anyone. I never get all dressed up just to drink. I go casual.
In about an hour I am heading to the Expo Bowl without my bride. She is in the bed wheezing, sniffling and hacking. She got up before 8 AM, took a shower and planned on working today until about 12:45 then meeting me at the Expo. But... she got a couple of miles away from the house in the truck, and turned around. She's the hottest toddy in the house today, although she's killed a half dozen of those already. I'll let her sleep, so she is fresh for Tuesday Night Bowling.
The animals, Charlie especially are pampering her today, he's been trying to keep her lap just the right temperature for rapid recovery, he's a Gooooood Boooy, and a thoughtful Rat Terrier. Tweek has been nearby helping warm the covers and Bella has been guarding the rest of the house. I leave to bowl feeling confident all will be fine in my absence.

I've been listening to old DEVO CD's while compukin' all morning. If you only know the Hits ("Whip It!", "Satisfaction", "Joko Homo") you have missed out on a world of good, fun and often intellectual music. Yes there will be more. There's always more.
Chuck Pace ©2006
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Beware the Ides of March!

Bowling Collage from Last Nights Practice. Chuck Pace ©2006

Another relatively slow day at the store. Thankfully I have today off. Yesterday morning the truck was again running really rough. Jenni rode in with me, but caught a ride home with one of her co-workers because I go straight to the bowling alley after work on Fridays.
Bowling!
Usually there is just time to get shoes on and a beverage at the lounge before practice starts. I didn't even have my shoes on when the practice started yesterday and I was the only one of my team there. I took a few photos and Rich showed up, saying, "They're really pushing practice up aren't they?" Ed and Mel showed up while I was putting my shoes on. I took three practice rolls and declared myself ready to bowl. The team we were playing "The Unknown" were unmanned, litteraly. Cathy Haddix and Mellisa Mitchum were on hand, but both male bowlers Dennis and Rob were absent. Even absent the missing bowlers were supplying "The Unknown" with 316 pins a game due to their high averages. The "Four Get It" bowlers had to all be ON to win. We got the first two games by 41 and 44 pins, then CH said "It's ON!" Melissa told me that when Cathy says it's ON it is usually not really ON. It wasn't ON at all. We took the last game by 37. I felt sorry for Cathy because she hasn't been getting any sleep, but I still chided here through half of the final game. (When it might still have been ON).

With the short "Unknown" roster we finished quick, in fact Pam Walker, who was coming to be our cheerleader arrived as we were putting on our street shoes. Mel and I had a good series all three games over average. Mel got better with each game and ended 33 pins over average for series. I ended the night 45 over average for series with 513. Rich had a 490, but was below average for the first game. Ed ended 24 under average for series and failied to hit average any game, I think he was pre-occupied because his father had surgery yesterday and he was heading to Gosport first thing this morning.
Even More Bowling!
Sunday the Chatterbox regulars are David's guests at Expo Bowl for a Chatterbowl outing. I usually bowl well at Expo, so I've probably jinxed myself now. I'm sure you know I'll let you know either way.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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Snowdrops blooming in the pre-dawn frigid air. Chuck Pace ©2006

Last night Jenni and I met up with