Da Vinci Code? Di Na Code? What can this mean? Mel Shoffner © 2007
I am so upset with the proof-readers at chuckpace.com that I can barely see straight, no wait I just had my wife glasses on, I'm all right now. Still eight days ago I posted the Chatterbowling results with an egregious error. And I quote (one of my favorite writers, myself) "The biggest excitement was Travis' second game, where he started with four strikes before getting an ugly split. He didn't end with the highest score, but still there was the drama of only being 8 strikes away from a 300 game (for a brief moment)." In truth I was asked to follow Mr. Travis "High Score" DiNicola to the tally sheet last night to see the error of my ways in person! Release the hounds, the Mention 'Ho is in fact a Tally 'Ho as well. Well, well. But since this was an honest mistake I intend to make it up to Travis the only way I know how. Travis did indeed have the highest ingle game score for the two game event, the much revered '177' not a score to be taken lightly, my friends the highest of all the scores, for he was number one! Every one else was number two or higher.

Oh, you wanna Shake'n'bake there fryer!?! I've got your correction (and a half beer buzz)... Chuck Pace © 2007
Immediately before I had Mel take that shot I took the photo of Kay looking at the Tally 'Ho like he was from another planet (Pens hole vain e ah, I think she pronounced it!). Other than the mention smack-down between Kay and Travis, with Mel quietly in the offing waiting for the first one to hit the floor, it was a quiet night at the Chatterbox. It was so quiet that you could hear Nicci's teeth chattering to themselves over a hot toddy, after she walked from Girl land to the Box due to the unstable relationship her truck has with running. If she had called ahead any one of the crew would have offered to pick her up, but I understand she got a similar offer from two denizens of her neighborhood while walking towards the light. Go into the light Nicci. Go into the light. All Are Welcome. All are welcome.
Chuck Pace © 2007
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Short post? Not really, there is a thousand words worth of value in the above photo. It's sort of like the food exchange values that people use when they are on a diet. You choose the thousand words, I am only responsible for the caloric content not the flavor. It is up to you to decide where to go next. I have given you the signs.
Chuck Pace © 2007 |

Listening to ''Angels We Have Heard On High'', by Brian Setzer (Play Count: 1).
Rich and I used to go to Charlie and Barnies just about every Tuesday and Mike Wilson started going with us as well. Then, Lunch schedules and things got moved around, and I only went occasionally, but the schedules and the stars have realigned and I have been semi-regularly attending the C&B chili runs again. Yesterday on the way into the mall via the South entrance at Nordstrom we three kings of orneriness are surprised to see the jolly elf handing out candy canes on the second floor. Mike acted like he was tying to avoid him, and we head on to the third floor to make our way over the footbridge and to the Chili emporium. There the talk of retail fills our hearts with joy, as the chili fills our bodies with warmth and energy. A quick enquiry about the time and its decided that we must scurry back if we are to get a chance to see the jolly elf again. Listening to ''Zat You Santa Claus?'', by Brian Setzer (Play Count: 1)

I know this guy from somewhere, maybe he's a fireman. Chuck Pace © 2006
There again is the big man, Kris Kringle, on the second floor, and he calls up to Mike as we descend on the moving stairway. They exchange pleasantries, and I ask if I can get a photo. Suddenly there is a Christmas Tree in the background (was it there before? I can't say yes for sure). There is a mention of Candy Cane, and I think I finally get the connection. I heard there was a Candy Cane working at a west-side gentleman's club, maybe Kris is a bouncer there, because he seemed to know Mike. I took a photo of the jovial elf, and Kris Kringle (if that is his real name) together, then was handed a hook of peppermint from the man in red myself, then the big man said to our big man, "Ho, ho big fella, you don't get away so easily here is a treat for you too," and he hands one of the candy treats to Rich as well. Mike still seems a little embarrassed that this bouncer remembered him with Candy Cane. So we make our way back to the store and then head home as the day rushed by and it was time to leave.
Listening to ''Santa Claus Is Coming To Town'', by Chris Isaak (Play Count: 2)
Tonight is the annual Sing-A-Long at the Chatterbox and I have to hold up my end as one of the five Golden Rings (the only reserved table at the Chatterbox for Christmas sing-a-long), so, merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
Chuck Pace © 2006
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In my dream I was playing Texas Hold'em with a Big Mouth Bass at lake Bled. He and I were talking and he said that he was sure I was the teacher that held back his mother when all the other Bass in her class graduated, and that he was going to make me apologize or there would be big trouble. I tried to explain that I never taught that school, but he wouldn't listen, you know how it is with those Big Mouth's. This went on for a while and the dream got weirder. I kept trying to impress upon him that since his father was a Gum tree, and his mother was a Beech, I didn't have either one of them in my school when I was a teacher, but he went on insisting that I apologize for failing his momma. Again I said you're wrong and you should apologize to me. In the card game he went big before the flop, I figured him for an ace hole at this point, but I called. The dealer burned the next card, and started to cough, the next two cards turned and I had K, Q of hearts and A of clubs on the board and the A and10 of hearts in my hand and was looking at a possible royal flush, he went All In before the River, and I again called. The dealer burned another card and I asked him to stop doing that as it was getting really hard to breathe. Then the River turned and I had my J there! He could have a flush, full house or three of a kind but could not beat me. I laid down my cards, and he started crying, and said I'd taken everything he had and flunked his momma. I said if you can't afford to lose don't gamble, and that he should be apologizing to me because I taught schools at Willow Brook, not Bled. He continued to cry, and asked me to give him some money back. I said, "Nope, sorry." He jumped up and said, "Ah-Ha! I told you you'd be sorry, grabbed my winnings and jumped into Lake Bled, shouting back "Sorry!" Just then my alarm went off and I had to get out of the dream and into reality. I never got to tell that Dad Gum, big mouth son of a Beech, that I wasn't a mother flunker, because I couldn't pull my sorry bass out of bled! So I hit the snooze, to get 5 more minutes to sort it all out, but after a confused minute, I figured I'd better get to the computer and share it with the world. Dreams, weird huh? Red Kitty, Red Kitty.

Chuck Pace © 2006
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He even spoke on the thing said one stunned witness.
We all heard about it. Kay even had a moment of histrionics. Jenni aided and probably even abetted. I stood on in shock and awe. I waited a couple of days before telling the world, I don't know if the Vatican is sending a priest to verify the event(with there only being a couple of Catholics; Pam and Maryjane in attendance, for sure. Point of order, M'Lord, does one Jew cancel out two Catholics at a miracle event?), but the revelation can no longer wait.
At the Turkey Fryers final race Kick-Off (wide right, twice) pre-race feast, as Jenni was checking her drivers and race readiness at Rich's dining table internet equipped control center, the "cell phone" rang. That in itself is not even close to a miracle, it rings all the time I'm told. Jenni picked it up and read Richard, VA. on the screen, I witnessed this and repeated aloud, "It's Richard in Virginia", just then...
Like a streak an aproned figure emerged from the kitchen dripping Turkey grease and butter rich injection fluids, took the phone and as God is my witness, answered it right in front of us all. Mel went slack-jawed for a second, and quietly uttered "..What?" Mike Wilson went crazy, causing a huge unwilson like stir and also exclaimed "No way!," But I was the only one who noticed being right beside Mike, and a fair lip reader. Jenni had the presence of mind to snap a few shots to assist in the proclamation of the Miracle Event.
I jokingly said that Travis answers his Cell Phone more often than Rich does. Jody and MaryJane called their opthamologist to schedule getting their eyes "unpopped" as soon as possible so as not to go through the rest of their lives looking like they have Graves Disease [popus ocullus susansarandistic martyfeldmanosis]. Liz stopped mid shovel and asked Travis, "Do you really have a cell phone?" Little Joey Bula snored in total disbelief, only Cato and Darwin took it all in stride (they had been seeing Cat-Nip induced miracles for about a half hour or a thousand years by then -Cats are really unreliable time keepers). A hush fell over the house (but nobody noticed as hushes while clumsy are by nature very quiet). It really happened, I swear. everything that follows is completely true.
Photos by Jennifer Pace: used by permission.
Story by Chuck Pace © 2006
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Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a good burp!

Halloween at the Box. A light and deadly (lively? ) crowd, the scary music on the jukebox, the haunting of another evening. There was almost nobody at the Chatterbox on Halloween, the place was really dead. Behind the bar was DeAnne "The Wrath" Roth, on the stool side sat Mike "Slices" Wilson, Rich "Kilt 'em" Culy, Jody "Fricassee" Frick, Mel "slab 'em" Shoffner, Kay "fingers" Niedenthal, Peter "Pumpkin carver" Park and Jack "still above the Green." In such scary company I moved o the jukebox and was terrified by the song selections on all Hallows Eve. Songs like Witchcraft, the arsonist's delights Light My Fire and His Latest Flame, Paint it Black, Don't Be Cruel, Black Magic Woman, I Fall to Pieces, Rise, Breathless, Woodchoppers Ball, Love Her Madly, The Man That Got Away, and so many more, but the most obvious tie-in to the holiday, the one showing the least restraint, Unchained Melody. It was a relatively short night, and we all made our ways home to the warmth of our friends or loved ones just after 8:00 (when the boils and ghouls are supposed to return to their crypts with sugar instead of blood treats).
Rebecca "Post Martum" kept calling me to ask about Jenni, but I think she really wanted a heads-up on Rich's where abouts.

Chuck Pace © 2006
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Jenni is in the throes of one of the worst Migraines she has had in 10 years, while her occurrences of Migraines have fallen off to almost none in the past several years mine have maintained a steady ten to twenty a year. She went to the Doctor yesterday, and scored a home run on the free meds. Midrin to take on the first signs of an impending M, Imatrex for relief during (so far not working for her), and Ultram (not the latest in bullet train technologies as I first thought) a super-sized one a day brain, ...er pain killer. She is pretty miserable, which means we are pretty miserable, and is about to miss her third day of work because of her whumper. Being a sufferer as well I can appreciate the amount of pain she is in. She has the classic symptoms, sensitivity to light, sound, movement and to make matters worse, she has a pretty frequent cough which makes her moan and wince at the same time, and of course wincing makes her constrict facial muscles and that makes her wince, too.

Things in the trees at the castle of the vitch! Chuck Pace © 2006 "I'm nat a vitch, I'm your vife!!!
Jenni has filled our yard and trees with all sorts of hanging things, and chimes which, as the leaves have abandoned the the trees, take on a less ornate and more sinister look. Just in time for halloween too. I will have to take a lot of this ornamentation down soon, and clear the yard of a bunch of winter susceptible items too, ahh the joys of living in the snow zones. Ahh Bach.
Tonight: Tonight after I get off work I make my way to the Chatterbox. Why you say. Why? If there must be a reason, then there is none better than a celebration. David has said that Tuesdays are his slowest days of the week revenue wise, and Rich being such a patron of the 'Box' chose to have his birthday on a Tuesday this year in order to help David out, "What a Guy." Not just Rich either, Maddie Tucker friend of the box, and former Robertsian is also birthing anniversing on the same day, is there no end to the depth of compassion these two have? Sure David or Deanne or Vanessa or whoever is serving at the Box will have to supply the first birthday beers, but I can safely say that that will be made up in due course and it should be a good Tuesday for David. I may be begging a ride home upon eve's completion, as I still have no true motivation, (at least not the kind that connects powerplant to drivetrain).

One to go, one for show, or Going nowhere fast! Chuck Pace ©2006
Well the time nears for Jenni to take me to work, then drive home to sleep secure in the knowledge that if she needs to go somewhere, she still can. She needs to go back to bed, and stay there, but insists on having (movable) wheels without while trying to quell the grinding wheels within.
Here's my latest title for a country song. "I got my name on the title, she's got her foot on the pedal" It's going to be a big hit, it starts with a melancholy pedal steel riff, then drives on up to a heart-break ballad, before leaving you at the curb to walk back to the dubba-wide.
Chuck Pace © 2006
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As a special bonus to my growing list of readers, I am giving you a once in a lifetime offer. This is a chuckpace.com exclusive that no other blog can match. Being in the retail world (and aren't we all really) I can appreciate the need to set myself apart from the competition, and a value added extra (the value is usually to the provider not the receiver, but...) is just the ticket. In true commercial, commerce driven inspiration, I can honestly say that today's blog is a real barn burner of a deal. There is no need to click on the terms acceptance button to get these deals and savings, you may already be a winner! (certain restrictions apply) There is a deadline, so act now, don't let this once in a lifetime deal slip through your fingers. In conjunction with our affiliates we can offer you a glimpse into the real world through our own tinted (rose color, is a personal favorite) percepto-blog. This is the way it really should have been if it isn't the way you remembered it.
Due to the lack of actual inspiration or content, I have chosen to have a balderdash close-out, just to make room for the new models, coming soon right here at chuckpace.com. First up, the image from Jenni Pace (a provider of exclusive additional materials when we are in a slump), now available in standard and extra crispy. The BeckyBobble 4.95 each or two for 9.00 (a savings of 10 cadrillion percent, according to our math experts.) Second, New, Mention Whore items are now available at your chuckpace.com CafePress outlet, or just a click away through this convenient compu-world link portal.

Remember you don't have to be a whore to dress like one, go to any concert event or Junior High school and you'll see what I mean.

Chuck Pace © 2006
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Saturday 4:30PM. A magical point in the timeline. Why? Because 4:31 belongs only to me. Or I should say I don't belong to anything but Jenni and Myself for the next week. Vacation... That's the word or it. I 'm back, I just popped over to the I-Tunes Music store and picked up a "cut-out" record, I couldn't help myself it was on sale! $ 5.99, twelve songs of head bobbing, gorgeous girl, pop driven memory's. Do You Remember Charlotte Caffey, Belinda Carlisle, Kathy Valentine, Gina Schock and Jane Wiedlin?
The Go-Go's , "Vacation", Vacation (1982)
Can't seem to get my mind off of you
Back here at home there's nothin' to do
Now that I'm away
I wish I'd stayed
Tomorrow's a day of mine that you won't be in

When you looked at me I should've run
But I thought it was just for fun
I see I was wrong
And I'm not so strong
I should've known all along that time would tell
A week without you
Thought I'd forget
Two weeks without you and I
Still haven't gotten over you yet

CHORUS
Vacation
All I ever wanted
Vacation
Had to get away
Vacation
Meant to be spent alone

A week without you
Thought I'd forget
Two weeks without you and I
Still haven't gotten over you yet

CHORUS

I have grand plans for this Vacation, Jenni is still an unwitting passenger at least for a couple more days. I've made reservations and plans and such, and she's not privy to any of that except the rental car arrangements. I hope everything works out. I REALLY Do!
I will say this. I should be able to Up-date during the adventures of a week-time, because the mysterious destination in Partsunknown, has WiFi. No more mesa-struggles with the cell-phone update, of worries about the GPS for cryin' out loud. The Cyber Clampetts are on vacation. We will be around for Connie's party, and Labor Day, then it hit the road Jack...

Chuck Pace © 2006
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Pre-Temp-tous Behavior eye guess. Chuck Pace © 2006
So there at HMI, Principle Insurance, Blue Cross Blue Shield, Anthem, Wellpointe. Wait I'll start over, go out and come back in again. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, our main... Yeah. So there in the 800 block of Virginia Avenue where Jenni works, the big health insurance concern which also has an office on the circle, but not the one on the circle, no, back at the first place (which is newer and is really the second place, just the first place I mentioned), there is this desk see. And at this desk there is a Gorgon. No not a real Gorgon, but a distant relative, and everything being relative, a Gorgon, really. But sometimes this Gorgon is gone and a whole 'nuther Gorgon is there instead (and really, less than a whole Gorgon just makes you feel slightly stoned, "Goodness snakes alive what have you done with your hair girl?"). Now those of you I've lost, follow along o.k. the rest of you who are still with me, get lost. If this gets too complicated I've got another story about a pair of storms and a peerless pear tree that met a pyre, prior. Anyway, back to the Gorgons. These Gorgons are not related or even permanent fixtures, they are disassociated temps of the Mad Eye Moody variety. The Feldman dopplegangers, the garlanded gazers of Gismond, the lookers on of all onlookers. The overseers of obtuse occularity, two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, and appearing to belong there, transitory tarts with meandering orbits. The exuberant eye, the wandering window to the whimsical soul. Perhaps Euryale and Stheno for lack of better names (Mythed it by that much), two persons who, when in the temp agency did not have the placement person look them in the eye and say there is no work for you. Jenni and Kelli sort of told me that piece of occluded information while we were at the Slippery Noodle with Kat Helms for lunch on Friday. Kat's been looking for a soft-tail Harley so she doesn't have to borrow anymore oscillating toys.
So, Matt O'Brien had this tree that had neither Shirley Jones nor David Cassidy in it (the unlikely pair who inhabited the fictional Partridge Family Tree) but instead pears. For that is the nature of the fruit bearing Pear tree. Along came a mid summer storm and slapped the tree brusquely to the ground. Matt (like so many of his male colleagues) having a fondness for a nice pear uprighted the tree, staked and tied it for support only to have another storm savage it to the soil again in the opposite direction, bruising and pulping the pears and rendering both fruit and tree untenable. The distress and anguish over the loss of the sweet, juicy fleshy pome caused Matt to tell his tale enough times that it has taken on a literary position of nearly epic proportions at Roberts. So long to Hemmingway's, Old man and the Sea, welcome The middle-aged man and the Tree. Step off Salinger, on your bike Twain, don't let the door hit ya' F.Scott. I revisioned Star Trek II's most riveting scene for MY crew, Spock: "Tree... Out of Danger?" To which Kirk drops to his knees, reaches out his quivering right hand and utters and anguished cry, "BARTLETT!-!" Spock puts his hand on the deceased and says, "You are now, and have always been, my fruit bearing tree." Later at the funerary ceremony instead of a photon torpedo casket, they cut the trunk with phasers, the first piece being "The Captain's Log"

When I took the above photo Matt said, "I see, I'm to be Blog Fodder." Heck yeah, but remember Matty I"m da Blog Faddah, anyone what says diff'rent don't get no puddding. How can you have any pudding if you don't...
Damned sobriety, look what it's done to my word crafting skills. I've exhausted my daily allotment of diffuse diction and long for lethargy. I think I'll just bed myself now and await my terminal planetary orbit before my vacation and the trip with Jenni to Partsunknown (ever been there? I was when I was about 13).

Chuck Pace © 2006
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Ambien? Lunesta? Halcion? Sonata? Zolpedem Tartrate? I worry that I will become less sharpened in my faculties if I start taking a sleep aid. I worry that I have become less sharp in my faculties because I'm not getting enough sleep. I think I need help, but I worry that I will not be me anymore (a veritable boon to society, but not nessa me)! "Is that really nessa? I'll tell you what's nessa!"
If I become dependent on sleeping pills, then what? Plus the disclaimers scare the crap out of me, "In rare cases, bleeding from the eyes and ears may occur, some may experience impotence or other sexual side effects, ulcers, suicide (but only once) or worst of all delusions of well being". I am a rare case already. That last one, a one off, prototype, a test case. Other sexual side effects? What? I would hope that impotence would be the biggie, or enough to not take the damn pills, what OTHER side effects? Beastiality? Necrophillia? Coprophillia? Pedophillia? Lusting after the elderly? Priapism (also known as the first two years of puberty for the teen age male)? Sure let's just take hands full of pills. There's a digestable solution for every problem. Go on the Jerry Springer show.
I sit and think as I'm trying to sleep, synaptic chaos, to many connections at the brain station, a wandering mind, with an open ended boarding pass. I worry about the future a lot, no not your future, not the planet's future, the next day, what should I accomplish, what didn't I get done today that I needed to do, yesterday? Wait, today is yesterday, I've gone into the next day and I'm not asleep yet, shouldn't I be a sleep by now? these sheets are wrinkled, this pillow is too soft, hard, sideways warm. I always have so much stuff on my plate. They say in the Lunesta ads that you must have 8 hours to dedicate to sleep before taking. What if I don't? I'm a walking Zombie the next day at work? Brain dead? I'm relegated to working the front or back desk's at work? They give me a tele-marketing job at Sony? AOL? I'm a supervisor at the license branch! Obviously I don't want that!
The drawing is called "Guy with a lot on his mind", or "Bad hair day for the Con-joined twins!" Or maybe you decide and get back to me, or maybe you don't.

I hit the snooze in my sleep, is that redundant or what. Maybe they should rename that button the "Delay the Inevitable" button.
I chose purple because purple is the color of Royalty, Insanity and Barnie! Zolpedem Tartrate? I think he's been a E-bay customer of Rich's. See the mind wanders even in waking. I am awake, right? Pinch me and I'll blacken your damn eye! There's a side effect for ya! Um, I just don't like to take pills.

Chuck Pace © 2006

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The FUN photo of the Urban Times gawkers (Brooks-less and Better for it!) Jeannie Kiley ©2006 (used with permission)
Well, I must have started something. Yesterday at the box Mr. William "Bill" Brooks, Publisher and Editor of the neighborhood newsletter/paper Urban Times, asked for an audience to be photographed in front of as he displayed his Beckmann Award for leadership in the Riley Area. That photo will go into the Urban Times along with a story about Brooks receiving said Award. It seems like a pretty good few weeks for Mr. Brooks. He wins The 2nd Quarter chuckpace.com Mention Meter, and gets his mug on one. Then a few days later Susie Salaz, trying to be like me was photographed with Brooks while wearing a t-shirt of her own making bearing his likeness (she had to leave her job at the City Cafe in shame after this stunt). And now even more people are emulating me! Brooks is once again recognized (largely through my efforts I feel). Can you say bandwagon? I knew that you could.
The same award, the Beckmann was given to David Andrichik last year.  The year before that I think a homeless guy know only as "Buddy" got the award, I remember he tried to sell it to me for $4. 87 but I only had $2.12 on me. It's a shame what poverty and desperation can reduce others to, and I wished I could have helped him out more, still it looks good on the mantle, and I just tell friends that I used to sometimes go by the nickname Buddy. Still the Beckmann is a major award, and big deal, the box might have came all the way from Italy it had exotic words on it which I attempt to recreate here phonetically,
Frah-Gee-Lay.

I found the picture of Susie and Brooks and the portrait of Brooks is uncanny. If you're familiar with Brooks looks, I'm sure you are saying I've seen that image before. Others are just saying yuck, Mister!, Yuck. I can't give a photo credit for this image, for two reasons I don't want the photographer to get death threats and hate mail for the rest of their lives, and I have never been told who would be so irresponsible enough to make an image like this in the first place.
There are a lot of the Mention meter regulars in that photo I noticed; Richard Plath, Travis, Jack & Joan Green, Jenni, Jody F., Melissa Gallant, Mike Wilson and some others behind the papers (including Rich Culy). We went inside to beat the heat after the Photo shots and Vanessa served us cool drinks, Rich and I stopped and talked with Jack and Joan, then Travis, Jenni beat feet early and Rich, Wilson and I, joined by Erika Embrey attempted to eat at Bazbeux, they had a 45 minute wait, so we scurried across the avenue to McNivens. Then home and on to a day off to take an eternity to do this post! While proof-reading before the upload I noticed I was getting two identical copies of the same photo at the bottom, I tried to fix it, but there is some gremlin in my system or something.
Well, I'll get that de-bugged. 'Til then.

Chuck Pace © 2006
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There's Something familiar about that logo? Chuck Pace © 2006
Another night at the Chatterbox, it wasn't gonna be a long one, just another Corona Sunrise. Rich was only staying for two because he was heading to Brownsburg to help David Gansert put a new roof on his house (a project that started Saturday and continued through all three of the hottest days on the year, hitting the mid 90's). Jenni only wanted one plus a Sprite, I only planned on two, but had to have a third for a photo op with Miss Kay, recently returned from the Crescent City, the Big Easy, the soon to be "Chocolate City;" New Orleans, Louisiana. She was there with Jody and Mary Ann the same time that Travis and Liz were in Atlanta which was indeed a "Chocolate City" and hosting an event that had Liz hawking her truffles and "Best Chocolate in Town."

Nash Metropolitan/Honda S2000 hybrid Rocket one off.
When I got to the "Box" I was greeted by "cool cat" David Andrichik just outside the door. He was on the phone but before I even got to shouting distance away I noticed a very unique looking vehicle further down. David smiled as I said what is that while reaching for my camera, he said, "A Nash Metropolitan, custom roadster, do you know Sid Rust? He built it for his brother" Well I hardly slowed down, I was in route to the car. I took the three shots seen here then went back to get my beverage. Jack Green was there and I sat next to him. Soon Rich came in and I said did you see the roadster out there? Then another of my coworkers at Roberts arrived, I made the introductions to Jack and Rich, Ed Sipes, so long gone from the "box" it surprised me that DeAnne even remembered his drink of choice, of course we are talking about DeAnne "Positronic Brain, perpetual motion machine " Roth, so I don't guess I'm really surprised at all. (I do feel sorry for her about the silly middle name, what where her parents thinking?) Then Jenni showed up, then Mel (right at 6:00) next came Jody Frick who told us that she and Mary Ann Beuke had screwed up and failed to meet Kay at a certain haunted rendezvous point for a walking tour that Kay didn't really want to take, but ended up taking without the two who did. In a bayou mode we were lucky to see the "Writer Fish" (dickis waltonis, journalistia') and the Emily "Sturgeon" other denizens of the "Box" in the murky depths of the bar as well, but they merely lingered momentarily before returning to the shadow realms they inhabit.
Jenni and I headed home, Ed and Mel to McNivens.
I had an errand to run before I got home, I stopped at DiNicola Estates and delivered a couple (o.k. 12) of my business cards for them as a reminder of the web page and the mention meter contest. I know Travis has been anxious about the attention the Garden Arbor, Trellis D Nikola (see 7/13 post Christening) has been garnering, and I went to assure him that if Trellis were to capture the big prize, he would donate his proceeds to Charity, or Honesty or Chastity or some of the other exotic dancers that Travis is no longer financing. O.K. I was totally just clowning there, Travis is not the one who is or has been funding exotic dancers (nor have I for that matter) I need to clear that up now so there will be no need to makeup later. "Wink,wink"

Chuck Pace © 2006

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"Wink,wink"

With the Arbor getting so much attention I thought it only right that it be given a proper name. Since it has exhibited such brilliance (especially for a architectural landscape implement) being so far ahead of all the other yard items I thought it fitting that I name it after one of the great minds of 19th and 20th centuries. Nikola Tesla, whose inventions include: a telephone repeater, rotating magnetic field principle, polyphase alternating-current system, induction motor, alternating-current power transmission, Tesla coil transformer, wireless communication, radio, fluorescent lights, and more than 700 other patents. Another coincidence here is that Nikola was born on July 9th or 10th depending on your source of information on him, the very dates that I finished my Arbor and posted it to world wide web, this is indeed destined. Since Tesla has been a long time hero of mine I feel there is no better tribute than to use part of his name in acknowledging the greatest achievement of a pressure treated wooden architectural element to became far more than it individual parts.

When I was born my father chose my name while my mother chose my older brother's. He never liked the names Charlie or Charles much but liked Chuck a lot. He also had grown up with a buddy who didn't have a middle name just an initial, and thought that was pretty neat, so I was legally named Chuck D (no period needed) Pace. I always liked the D, thought it neat to have a semi-unique moniker. So I give the Trellis' and Garden Arbor the D as it's middle cognomen. Lastly while the Arbor is a amalgam of parts and purposes, the primary reason for it's existence (before cognition that is) was as a two sided trellis for the bearing and enhancement of climbing, vining vegetation. So combining Scientific Hero with Purpose and Middle name into one fitting name and tribute I now present to you for the First time, the Garden Arbor realized...


Trellis D Nikola that has a great sound to it, it's like I've been hearing it for years, it is as natural as an old friend. Truly fitting, given the reasons I outlined above. Long live Trellis D Nikola.
Chuck out.

Chuck Pace © 2006
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Well I have always had this need to embrace the accomplishments of others, to champion greatness. Each time a fellow passenger on the journey of life rises above the mundane, breaks new ground, does the unfathomable, it serves to inspire, enrich and improve us all. It gives us a feeling of what can be, shows us that through perseverance and initiative nothing is impossible. This is why I now harbor such feelings of pride and look to the future with optimistic enthusiasm. Earlier today my creation; the progeny of my sweat, love and physical laborings gained awareness. The Garden Arbor, (though proximity to the wireless router attached to my computer no doubt) reached out, and took it first sentient baby steps. It acknowledged my laboring and the attentions imparted on it, and in true altruistic fashion (one of my better traits, now passed on to a new mental life force, through my loving ministrations), asked that the prideful swellings be spread to, or shared with others far less deserving, like Travis DiNicola for instance. How can I not heap additional praise on this greatest of gifts? The see something borne of my efforts and struggles rise and embrace the very values that I have cherished. The Garden Arbor is a fitting Champion of my true self shall be heralded hence forth as a fitting successor to the friends and companions who have gone on to enrich MY life and capture the mantle, "Mention Meter Winner." I now cannot at this time imagine a more fitting or worthy third quarter winner, or for that mattera greater choice for Mention Meter Grand 'Champion of the Year.' I quote here the post "comment" my great new love, the Garden Arbor, left on my site, not once, but twice.
"I'm not very loquacious by nature, but I do appreciate the coverage I've been getting by Mr. Chuck on his lovely website. I only hope that I can provide him such coverage in return. I would also like to give my thanks to being included on the Mention Meter! However, as I am an inanimate object, AND, even though I can only hope to one day be considered part of the family and therefore be ineligible for the Mention Meter, I do, in fact, live on the Pace Property and hence feel that I am taking advantage of my situation, and am not being a fair competitor. As my first act of arbor altruism, I wish to donate my mention points to the person who first recongized that I perhaps had cognitive powers, Mr. Travis DiNicola. Please consider this request with good will, and good coverage.
Garden Arbor | 07.12.06 - 6:48 am | #, and 07.12.06 - 11:10 am | #

Chuck Pace © 2006

That's a Swell Finger You Got There Mister! Chuck Pace ©2006

The last time I saw John David he was leaving two cats in Rich's custody for a few weeks. When he arrived I had already tabbed out and was on my may home, I took a few minutes to catch up, two photos of him and a couple more of Gizmo, one of the cats. JD told us he was moving into a rental with 1500 sq. feet (would this require 750 pair of square shoes?), that's bigger than the house I live in.

FFWD one week. Rich says he has not seen much of Gizmo, he is hiding most of the time, but there is occasionally a grey mass n the depths of the shadows, watching. Waiting. Planning. The other feline? Girl Kitty. Rich didn't see Girl Kitty at all since the transporter uncasing moment. That is until Monday night after the box. Rich decided he would find the elusive inviso-cat. He did, down in his basement. She was using the entire area as a hiding spot and toilet. Rich was displeased. He wanted to take her to a revival of sorts, a "Come to Jesus" meeting. Catching an inviso-cat is tough enough, imparting a meaningful message to a creature that's brain is about the size of a walnut is difficult at best (I know, I'm in sales), when that creature is also blessed with razor sharp canines (yes, even cats fangs are called canines, irony) the task is more difficult. Monday night Girl-Kitty, imparting to Rich her displeasure with organized religion, impressed upon Rich that she was indeed an atheist. She bit his right middle finger hard enough for him to speak in tongues. Buy yesterday that finger was showing a lot of swelling and infection. Rich soldered on at work as said carpal member went from fingeresque to sauageesque, to fleshy swollen dirigible of pain. He left for the emergency room at just before 5PM.
I'm not blaming John David, or Girl-Kitty, in fact I'm not pointing the hindenberg finger at anyone in particular, I just know that Rich said "Tell JD he's going to owe me A LOT OF BEER for this!"
I received the "Prizes, prizes, prizes galore for Bill Brooks and all of the Mention Meter Chasers yesterday at work. I would have taken a graven image of them for today's post, except I left them at work. I will have them with me tonight for a brief stop at the Chatterbox to distribute the prizes to the respective (if not respectful) recipients. There is Brooks with a 'fridge magnet and mug (his other ugly mug), Rich (who got his magnet yesterday) and Liz with podium finish magnets and the remainder of the top ten with mention magnets. I know that Kay will not be there to receive hers, not knowing that her New Orleans vacation would fall on awards ceremony day, she has been excused.

The Grey Cat above is Gizmo the behemoth, it is amazing that he can hide at all, being roughly the size of a Hummer H1! I know that every time I mention Hummers I get your attention, I hear that per capita there are more in Zionsville than any other part of Unigovia, my guess would have been Avon. The JD and Gizmo shots were taken on the night that Wilson made up with his alter ego, "Microphone the Clown" Here's looking at you squids.

Chuck Pace © 2006
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Last night at the Chatterbox, I half expected to see recent groom, the despondent and distraught leader of two weeks ago, who fell to 4th place after a poor showing in the "chase," or more accurately a lack of showing. Instead I was greeted and welcomed by Mike Wilson, Rich Culy, Richard Plath, Jack Green and The Bill Brooks. Mel arrived shortly after I did, as did Cheryl Strain, Kay Niedenthal, Jim Stain and eventually Jim Strain and Joan Green. I only got a few shots of the assembled (and partially assembled) before it was time for me to head out. Cathy Morris and Daryl Spurlock arrived and I commiserated with Cathy about Mpozi for a bit. John David showed up after I had already tabbed out, we visited for a bit, heard about his new apartment, and such. Before I left Mike Wilson promised to be more visible, even took on a clownish demeanor when I pointed a camera his way, all just to try to make the "chase" in the third quarter, already under way.
Earlier, I also went to Luna and talked with Maggie, bought four CD's and was given a free sampler. Because the music matters. Like I said, I got a lot of reaction to yesterday's post, and especially the Mention Meter outcome. I put into place a set of rules to dictate the outcome based on the finite wisdom of the Nascar model, as set in place two years ago. The theory is to keep the points system and fan interest until the very end, to eliminate the boredom of a having a runaway winner. Well kids. I used that same model. The approved model last time produced the same winner as a straight points system would have. This time the out come was different, using the "system" anybody doing exceptionally in the last 12 days gains advantage over the less active, or mentioned. Thus instead of a recently married leader on 6/18 taking the prize, the overly mentionable presence and antics of the winner, Mr. Brooks in just the last 12 days gained considerable advantage and garnered the "big Prize!" i have been carrying Kay's CD's in my messenger bag for over a week, and keep forgetting to give them back. Tonight would have been a perfect opportunity , she even brought me a white chocolate chip cookie, yum.

Way to Go Mike, that's the spirit that will keep you in the hunt till the very end. See you on Friday, I can hardly wait to hear what you think of things.
Chuck Pace © 2006
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Today I am franticly trying to put my affairs in order here at the World Headquarters of www.chuckpace.com. The reason? An impending visit from the "parent corporation" which merged The Pace-Martin concerns in the late 1950's. I have to be able to present the right image here at the world HQ, and the offices and meeting areas are in disarray. We have been doing a lot of grounds work to make the HQ site more presentable, now I have to turn my energies to the work areas, the cafeteria, the restroom facilities, and the entertainment and lounge areas. The heads of Pace & Pace, Phillip Pace and Madge Pace (formerly Martin before the merger) are personally coming to inspect the operation from Old Town Florida, they are bringing a member of their "watchdog" committee know by the code name Bejo (bay-o)Yorkie. I have a lot of work to do to get the HQ in order so I will cut short this prelude. I still have to get to the photo shop, where there are some new image imports that will be going seamlessly into todays offering, Busy, busy, busy. A full report will be made in the next week and a half or so. Until then I must get bizzy wid it. Ya'll. Todays Photos: Squeezing Bloodgrass from a Turnip bed. And the Yellow Rose from Mother's day flourshing.
Chuck Pace © 2006

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First, Welcome to Ava Grace Demumbrum, the 27 day old daughter of Lisa and Gary. When I found out they were expecting, about 7 months ago, and the due date was late May I told them to hold off and have their child on May 27th. That is the best day of all to be welcomed into the world on, ask anybody, ask Meredith.
Last night Rich and I stopped at the Chatterbox. Part of the reason is of course the Wednesday Night Men's club, but we also were there to shore up some of the wedding essentials info with one Travis DiNicola. We all agreed that Brooks was there, in his usual chair, exercising his finely honed wit. I brought a stack of the carting/bachelor party photos for David and Travis to keep at the bar for any of the participants or anyone else interested in seeing how the fun went down on last Sunday. Brooks left, Liz's friend Jennifer Osterman dropped off some glasses for Travis and the wedding, then went to work out. Before James W. from the bachelor party showed up and sat with us, waiting for Jen to finish her workout, Travis did the unthinkable. The wedding preparations have started to take their toll on him. In an unprecedented move, Saturday's groom told us that he wanted to buy a round! Around the globe clocks all stopped, babies started to cry and gravity lost its grip for a nano-second as this was one of the foretold signs that the world was coming to an end. I went inside and told Vanessa, she said. "Really? O.K." and the fabric of time, with only a small snag in it continued to unfurl. Here is the conundrum, without any other witnesses it's like a biblical event, it requires faith to get your head around such an event, but had there been other witnesses, it would not have happened. It's like the invisible kid in "Mystery Men" he can only go invisible if nobody is looking, or looks at him while he's invisible.
"Hey, I Wanna Buy the Next Round" Chuck Pace ©2006
I took a photo right after the "announcement" and there two other people in the shot but Travis was invisible to them, and the moment had no weight to anyone but us three. Rich and I actually refused the gesture at first, thinking TD had snapped, then we both agreed that this had to happen, once in a lifetime.

"Letting the Days Go By
Letting the Water Hold me Down,
Letting the Days Go By
Water Flowing Underground,
Into the Blue Again
After the Money's Gone
Once in a Lifetime
Water Flowing Underground"

And You May Ask Yourself
Am I Right? Am I wrong?
And You May Say To Yourself
My God! What Have I done?!

Thanks to David Byrne and the Talking Heads for having a lyric to express the moment, "Once in a Lifetime" on the album Remain in Light.

Chuck Pace © 2006
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As I close todays post I am Listening to Once in a Lifetime. Listen Travis.

"And You may Find Yourself
In a Beautiful House,
With a Beautiful Wife,
And You May Ask Yourself
Well, How Did I Get Here?"
"Same As It Ever Was (repeat)"

I was going to put over bored, but that's not true either. Today is the first day of the 5th month. Meaning that 2006 is already 1/3 over. Where is it all going? Why does it go so fast? I think it is the routines that makes it seem to go faster as you get older. When you are young everyday is full of new surprises. Then as you get into habits and routines, the surprises become fewer and farther between, until the only memorable stimulus is the out of ordinary, and the days that lack that lack presence. Therefore time seems to speed up as fewer new experiences get added to your perception bank. I'm not over bored I'm over experienced. There, pure and simple.
With yesterday's rain out at Talledega, the Nascar Fantasy league and the Race are going to be missing a lot of viewers. That made yesterday a little more routine too. I needed to watch that race. I fell asleep watching the pre-race before preemption stuff and woke up with an episode of Cheers on. Needless to say it was all downhill for T.V. viewing after that.

David the Son in Law flies back to Sunny Florida and the love of my life (and his) Meredith today on AirTran. He's still asleep as I post this post. Meredith is off today, it's a shame she couldn't get two or three other days off and come up to Indiana with David. I just miss her terribly. Well time has this way of moving on, like I mentioned earlier. I include two of my "on the phone with customers" doodles from Saturday (before I went to the Pacers loss) both of which are appropriate it seems. Up top is the Sunny, Man Over Board and down here closer to the end is the Corpulent Flying Doodle bug. Have a good flight David, call when you get to Florida. I'll be expecting the call. I never have a plan when I start doodling on a call, and I'm usually surprised when something emerges from the scraps. Love to the kids, joy to all.

Chuck Pace © 2006
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It's a 29 step program, but there is a little light on the path. Chuck Pace ©2006

Well I've finally diagnosed myself. I've been asked why do you do a (nearly) daily internet post, where do these ideas come from and where do you find the time? Now I can begin to answer these questions. I am the first to suffer from a new and (and previously unnamed) rare disease, and I have given it it's name. I have a compulsion a compunction if you will to tell the world about myself. A need to tell the world about even the most drab moments of my existence. To blather and blare and bleat on about my blasé blunders in a blissful, boring barrage of blubbering self blandishment. Now I have given this affliction an appellation, a cognomen, a designation, a title, a moniker, if you will. To name something is to begin to know it. To understand it, and Possibly to start to control it. But I can't do it alone. With your help I can even begin to get over it, and myself in the process. Yes I suffer for the egoistic need to saturate the world wide web with my self. I have Solipsistic Cyberosis, an all consuming desire to consume your cyberspace with my drivel. But there is help on the way. If you will only donate at my Paypal banner in the sideblog of my site, I can spend more time at the bar, and less time at the keyboard. A mere two dollar donation purchases 70.3% of a Corona with 1/32 of a lime, not to much to ask to clear your computerspace of the of the endless diatribe of mental dry heaves I have been providing. And each donation gets us all closer to the cure. The less time I spend on self-absorption and soliloquy, the more mentions there are for my friends, and that means a better world for you and me (the glorious and wonderful me, praise me.) Can't you see a need for the cure? Once I get out of my head, I can begin to get out of yours. Donate today, and may Chuck bless you.

Chuck Pace © 2006
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As I walked outside after lunch yesterday, it felt like the buildings were crowding in on me. Not to hurt me, but to hear my every thought, and motivation. The are sadly unable to access the internet and my website in any meaningful way. After returning I took another self-portrait, using only the flood lighting of the facility. With the Cure, I would most likely be turned around looking at the Swimsuit Calendars. By helping Me, you help us all.

There appears to be a sneak and a criminal in our midst. A real stinker of a mystery at work. Yesterday, according to plausible sources, someone in the building removed the Lysol™ disinfectant and deodorizer from the mens bathroom in the basement? Lysol™ Liberator at large! We've asked the Privy pillaging perpetrator to come clean, and clear the air on the whole messy affair, but still it remains a mystery. Who enjoys the odoriferous emanations from the facility so much that they would purposely purloin the purifier? Have we a foul-air felon in the facility? The Sh#* really hit the fan when the men's room misappropriation mystery was made public. Someone did the can-can with the can from the can. Only one suspect was not in the store yesterday, that being C.Scott P. It stinks butt everyone else is under the umbrella of suspicion. We will get to the bottom of this, and the stinker will pay. Until then remember a Flush beats a Full house, and Texas Hold-em is definitely down the drain until our disinfectant defective is detained!

Onto less crappy news. My bowling team " Spare Parts" did the necessary deed, last night. Winning 5 and losing 2, next week we take on The Chatterbowlers less their secret weapon, Will with his new ball. We will still be short handed since David Sherry destroyed his knee several weeks ago, and we cannot have substitutes (knees or bowlers) on the final week of league. With our two and series victory last night we are guaranteed 2nd place, and a roll-off berth in the up coming tournament (a roll-off berth is a good thing here, unlike on a sleeper car or bunk bed). I'm proud of my team mates, Jenni in particular she had her highest series and game last night a 335 and 134 respectively (making it three 300+ series in a row now). Mel pulled off another night over average as did I and we got the job done. Oddly Mel and I's strongest games (167 and 170) were the second game, the only one we lost, team 1 took game 2 by 2 pins (Jenni's weakest game).

Later kiddies. Keep the faith. I'm wiped out. As the mother skunk said to her babies on the church, "Let us Spray"
Chuck Pace © 2006
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Out of an apartment into a Home. Chuck Pace © 2006

It looks to be a beautiful day, I am going to have a top 5 finish in the Nascar league, and we are helping Mr. DiNicola and Ms. Garber relocate to the East Side, to that deluxe location under the Sky. They are Movin' on Up. Jenni and I am obligated to be there to help since Travis mentioned that there could be mentions galore for the helping hands that show up to assist. Well there is only ONE mention meter I know of, so it's gotta be me. I expect there to be a lot of light things, like, oh. Books in boxes! More books in boxes! Additional books in boxes! etc. etc. etc.

We shall see. Beer, Pizza and Chocolate.

Chuck Pace © 2006
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I seem to be having a lot of trouble with my computer, or is it daylight saving time? Is Mitch Daniels to blame? Several things went amiss yesterday. Even Saturday, now that I think of it. Is this a doomed vacation?



How did I close my post on Saturday? I can't remember/ Oh, yeah it was... Still driving the bus to Smartassville, with frequent stops, your Captain, Chuck Pace. What it didn't say was April Fools Day! Congratulations to Rich, he is the Mention Meter winner. He got the most mentions, he is the Big , Big Winner. Who's the Big Winner? Not Mikey. Nope Rich.

The Short Post has been a happy post (at least for some).
Captain, Chuck Pace ©2006
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Tonight. After a particularly Monday Monday, I had to stop at the Chatterbox to have few libations with my friends. Besides, I was asked to give Scott Proctor a ride to that same box because James Willis, who usually gives a ride home to Scott, left early for a class he attends, leaving Scott not only classless, but rideless as well. Scott does not live at the "Box", but a few blocks further North.
I was going to the "Box" anyway to meet up with Rich, fresh (well, probably a little less than "fresh" and definitely not Minty Fresh) from Eastern Tennessee and Bristol Motor Speedway, and the usual crowd. The usual crowd was there or the aural/spectral residue of their recent departures was still evident to the psychic observer. Rich was already there with Jack Green and Mike McDaniel when I arrived. DeAnne was the hostest/server/vision and pondered aloud the choice of my beverage as I approached the surly crowd. Almost magically she produced the very choice I had in mind a Corona. She said she had been thinking of me as she cut a particularly juicy lime for the trays during her shift set-up. (Do you supposed it was the cutting or the fruit that brought me to mind?). I also learned, or re-learned something that I already knew. Travis is a Mention Ho, plain and simple. Bill Brooks, who publishes a local newsletter for downtown neighborhoods had "mentioned" Travis in the most recent one. Rich (who witnessed the set-up and delivery, along with David A.) said Travis began to scour the pages and articles for his "mention", until Brooks stopped him. Brooks, who has no equal, (a few less thans, and plenty of greater thans, but no equals) redirected Travis to the publishing, editing, contributing mumbo-jumbo on page three, (displayed here) before the articles and the golden ticket was indeed there for redemption.
When I arrived Brooks, David and the mention Ho, were all no longer there, but as I said their physic energy and signatures didn't diminish the humor of the moment, or its re-telling at Rich's hand or my keyboard. Thanks Brooks, for the larf, and the brilliant set-up. I could not have done it better, I'm definitely one of the less thans. Mel and Ed were also witness to the re-telling of the moment, Jody F., Kay, Dory and Connie were present, but did not hear the tale.

Chuck Pace, Bill Brooks ©2006
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Mass Ave. 21 hours after the 5.2 inches of snow. Indiana weather, huh! Chuck Pace ©2006
First a little business, then an observation and warning.
Last night the Chatterbowlers II, with David Andrichik subbing for Will, went into the final game of the Wednesday 10 for 10 league needing to win all 7 points to tie the Foul Language guys for first (and with the tie-breaking pin count win). Even worse the third place team, "Keller's Killers" were only 2 points behind us. If we lost one and they won them all we would be relegated to third, and not given a berth in the upcoming tournament (only the 1 and 2 teams in each 10 for 10 advance to the money round). We stomped them in game one, lost the next two, still we carried series, 3 points. It looked like the Keller's won two and series for 5 points, and we held on to 2nd place, but I have to wait to see the official posting at the sportbowl website to confirm. In a win/loss tie with Kellers we still win because we have the highest total pin-fall count of all 5 teams. Keep your fingers crossed fans. Papa needs the moohlah!

So, I admit I've gotten a little less tolerant. I expected to mellow more with age, but I have a gripe. I always tried to be open minded towards them. Not really understanding why so many people have such problems with them. That was when I was young, when I'd see them back then they were someone else's problem, and I sure didn't notice them as often as I do now. Now I've built myself a happy little life, and they start showing up here too. Suddenly they are my problem to host. I see now how they come in, infiltrate if you will, and eventually take over, drowning out the desirable, until they are the only ones left, or even worse after they've forced the good out, they leave too and there's only a desolate, glaring, blank eyesore in their absence. They show up almost unnoticed at first, just one or two. If you aren't paying attention they can even go undetected or unnoticed for great periods of time. Then there's a few more, showing up in places you thought were off limits to them, protected from the likes of them. Then it starts to get personal. They have this way of blending in at first, going unnoticed among their neighbors. It's just as likely one of your friends will tell you they saw them in your area even before you noticed them there yourself. Friends often delight in telling you they have started moving into your places, but they will soon have them moving into their neighborhoods as well. By the time there are enough to make a real scene it's too late! They are everywhere. Try to get used to it. Some tolerate them, saying they are fine with them, saying they don't care, that maybe I'm a little more distinguished just because I accept them, maybe I'm a better person because I don't mind them being there, but I don't know anybody who really wants them there, or was glad to see them showing up. We all know that where there's one there will soon be clumps of them, whole families of them.
Tolerance? Maybe. Wanting them there? No way Jose, whole different story. Some try to ignore them, then it's too late, they own the whole mess. Others say it's inevitable change, just give in as you get older, it's just the way things are (they were around when you were kid, you just never thought they would move in on you), but nobody ever says this is a good thing, or that this is progress. Still others try removing them at first, uprooting them before they establish a strong hold and presence. There's denial and even cover-ups. Some people act like they really think they belong, while others who try to hide their presence from their friends. But I tell you they are coming. Get used to the idea now, if they aren't already right up on you, they will be! Everybody has to deal with gray hair. I heard of people dyeing from it, but I've never heard of anybody dying from it. Maybe I do look a little more distinguised salt and peppered.

Yesterday, while being a menace (a job my older brother Dennis is much more qualified for), I walked up to Mr. Wilson's desk with my Sony camera on and cupped in my right hand, which otherwise appeared to be slack at my side. When Mike looked up at me I rotated the hand, and just as he reacted to the motion, snapped this terse, stern and forboding photo of Mike. "What's tha..." He started to say even after the flash lived up to its billing, then cognition caught up with perception and it was blinking silence for a few moments. I pulled the camera around and reviewed the shot that you are now also viewing, I have not cropped, leveled or straightended this shot, just resized and darkended it a tiny bit.

"I've Got a Minature Secret Camera, (Secret, Secret)" Peter Murphy, track 10, Love Hysteria,1988.
Today, my day off, I am going to the dentist, so I have to eat onion and guacamole, and a box of Oreo's before 10, so I've got a mission. Seizures on de utter side (sound like a dutch cow spasm, doesn't it).

Chuck Pace ©2006
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I can tell you in no uncertain terms that as a bowler, C. Scott Proctor is a heck of a musician. Yes he is quite a troubadour off the bowling surfaces and approaches. On the alleys, that a whole different tune. On the other hand (I have a full complement of hands to refer to) last night I set two goals for my lovely bride. A 120 game, and a 300 series. She accomplished the second, but just fell shy of the first (sometimes you've got to watch out for the shy ones). 113, 109, 97. 319 Series!!! That's two weeks in a row that our fledgling kegeler has pulled off 100+ doubles, and all with a 85 average. I'm as proud and happy as a clam (clams always look happy, the shape of their bivalve shells coming together looks like a bemused smile). I took the two photos (without flash) as indisputable evidence that through 7 frames, Jenni was actually beating Rich, two lanes over! I was horrible last night, and I didn't bowl well either. Poorly, Despicably or, in the immortal words of Nick Wiesinger, Not So Much! The other team "4" kicked our humble behinds. The only shining "Spare Parts" bowlers were Jenni and Mel "King Kong" Shoffner, who actually took a commuter train off the "L" and dumped its passengers out through the torn off end last night! Mel was trying for a rare 500 series, she just didn't know it. 499 ladies and gentlemen, 499.

Like so many bowling evenings, we started at the Chatterbox where all the usual suspects were arranged by drink choice. No not really. Travis and Brooks, David A., Matt Theobald, Richard Plath, Dick Walton, Jack Green, the Beukes, Kay, Jody F., Jenni, Mel, Scott Proctor, Rich, Mike Wilson and I were all there, while DeAnne played taps. These are the people who have no more of a life than me. Somebody threw Mama from the Train onto our usual choice table and seating arrangements, so we were up front about where we would have our libations.

Work? Dead as any day when you get 5.2 inches of snow through morning rush hour. And that is Generalissimo Francisco Franco dead my friends, and so is todays post. Adieu.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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I would have to say that Mr. Richard Brockton Kingsley is exactly the kind of winner that can make us all proud. I can say unequivocally that there was not a dry eye in either house when this acceptance speech was both written and received. The accompanying e-mail also speaks volumes about the first Recipient of the Caption Contest. The judges were pleased to have such a person of character and obvious upbringing receiving the first award. Here then is the quoted e-mail, and the Acceptance Speech.

From: *****kingsley@******.com
Subject: I look surprisingly pretty on a magnet.......
Date: March 10, 2006 5:06:32 PM CST
To: ******


I just wanted to say thank you for the shirt and also the coaster and magnet, the UPS man came yesterday and said "Are you Brock Kingsley, Erudite a**hole prick?"
And I said, "Yes, Yes I am"

Attached is my acceptance speech.
Good day and forward on!
Brock

ACCEPTANCE SPEECH GIVEN FOR THE FIRST ANNUAL CHUCKPACE.COM CAPTION CONTEST
SPEECH DELIVERED FROM COLUMBUS, OHIO


Wow. Thank you. Thank you. Please, the applause really isn’t necessary. Thank you, please, sit down. Wow, this is great. The shirt is even more beautiful in person, and soft. Yes, the magnet and coaster were indeed a surprise, and I am grateful for all surprises, especially winning this contest. Let me just get this list of people to thank… First I would like to thank some unspecified deity of an unspecified religion, without him/her/it, none of this would be possible. Second I would like to thank Smalls for always believing in me, and encouraging me: I love you. My heart felt appreciation goes out to Mike Novak. If you weren’t you, well, I wouldn’t have had half as many quotes. But, you make it so easy, to imagine the strange and (somewhat) wonderful things that could possibly come out of your mouth. I would also like to thank the Internet for allowing the creation of blogs and websites. Last but not least, Chuck Pace whose efforts with the camera and site upkeep have allowed all of us to engage in a somewhat voyeuristic…Hey! Stop the music! I’m not done yet . . . voyeuristic lifestyle while reading the insightful posts on chuckpace.com. Keep em’ coming buddy! I will cherish this award forever. Thank you. Thank you very much.

End quote: I reprint that in it's entirety without addition or correction, because that's how it should be. I would have done the same for Travis, had he had the good manners to give an acceptance speech when he received the first ever Mention Meter Award. Perhaps Travis was bit overwhelmed, Excitable Boy They All Said!

Bowling Recap #11,312: The assembled team of Four Get It, got it good last night, loosing all games, face and pin count by 219. At the merciful end I was able to under awful the rest of my team with the finishing with the highest crappy series score. That's why I am the anchor, "Albatross, albatross" so that I can pull off the miracle defeats when it looks like a rally is at hand! Not really, failure is a team effort, and we failed as a team last night.

IN 2005 AND 2006
CHUCK "HAPPY PAPPY" PACE
COMMANDED A SQUADRON
OF FIGHTER BOWLERS. THEY
WERE A COLLECTION OF
MISFITS AND SCREWBALLS
WHO BECAME THE TERRORS
OF THE SPORT BOWL
THEY WERE KNOWN AS THE
"BLACK SHEEP"

I'm the leader of this little ragtag crew, That makes me responsible! Before the night was over I told Rich that I would not be summer bowling this year.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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Yesterday I was yo-yo. Driver, and Knight in Shining Armor.
I took Jenni to work, visited with Charlie Schleicher at the new 21st and Shadeland Starbucks she is assistant managing, resuspended my BMW exhaust pipes, came back downtown to lunch with Jenni and Rita from work, went to Home Depot for replacement commode handle and installed that, then downloaded a few albums into iTunes, then, again back downtown to Anthem to retrieve Jenni. Before driving the 12 plus miles yet again we (I) decided to pop into the Chatterbox, as much to get out of the rain as to postpone the last yo.
David was the sole Staffer when we arrived. Mel was there awaiting company, and Jenni and I gladly obliged. Soon Rich came in too, and a partial (to what?) Wednesday Night Mens club was suddenly having a impromptu meeting. Rich said that he asked Mike Wilson, to join but he took a pass and took on the chin last night. Richard Plath came down to our end of the bar and joined us in conversation mostly directed by the news cast over the fridge. Alysha arrived to take over the bar-maiden duties and David soon doffed a Crocodile Dundee hat and braved the monsoon. Kay arrived without mac and cheese. Then Deanne, Mike Lamm and Nicci H. arrived for drinking and conversation. I was heading out to the car to collect jukebox quarters when I got a cell call. It was Rebecca, whom I had not seen in over three weeks. She was sitting in her car, and did not see me walking the soaked streets, I walked up, recommended she close the moon roof of her VW, hung up my cell phone and we walked in to the box together. Soon the dulcet tones of vinyl and needle were projecting throughout the enclosed chamber at 45 revolutions per minute.

Cinderbecca's Grating Slipper! (No where near Midnight, Punkin') Chuck Pace © 2006

I had to play Knight to Nicci, who called me down to try to break some of her tension. Apply a little force and evict the stress she stores in her back when painting, and when not painting. Deanne, the double jointed thumb-er could not assist, so an expert was called in. Me. After about 5 minutes I was able to make hard sheets of muscle into hard lumps, and I returned to my crew. Rebecca goes to the facility, and returns a little later with an offer of photo opp in the restroom (well)! Turns out it was nothing nefarious, just her shoe heel having a grate time without her. I de-stressed yet another Damsel by recovering the slippery slipper and again returned to my libations. Rich left after two or so, but hatched a plan with me involving Travis and Liz before going.
Lo and behold not long after the Rich egress, the selfsame Travis and Liz appeared before my wondrous eyes. The recently arrived had come from fencing class, where Travis had repeatedly "whacked" Liz. (Before Liz, Trav only performed soliloquy whacks.) I quote "Whack, whack, whack, it was great, whack, whack, whack! ".

I told Travis and Liz of Rich's recently incubated plan and they whole heartedly agreed. So it's on in two weeks! I tried to pay and take my own Princess back to the off-ivory tower, but my money was no good. Cinderbecca had provided for all of our libations, as well as a couple sets of "Buttery Nipples" for all around the table (with me and the three women, that's a lot of Buttery Nipples!) Much thanks to Rebecca for sponsoring the The (not-so) Sacred Knight of the Monsoon Yo-yo

Tonight! More Bowling. The most exciting thing I ever do! Ooohhh, bet you can't wait for a pin by pin count recounting on tomorrows posting. I'm counting on it. So tomorrow I go from Knight to Count!

Chuck Pace ©2006
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East Street Translucent Dream #1: Chuck Pace © 2006

Rain. Cold Weather. Car Problems. Truck Problems. Problems problems. On this, my day off I have to get up and get ready for the day just like it was any work day. The trucks windshield wipers don't. The clouds do. Jenni can't drive a Manual Trannied flivver, and I can't begin the day off, off. Since I get to drive the 12.6 miles to get her to Anthem, I might as well go the extra 3 blocks, and drop into the store. I need to generate a report and reprint some tickets for my last ever Konica-Minolta sales incentive spiff check. The camera concern of K-M goes belly up at the end of the month, and sales rep Vinnie will be in the store to get our last receipts for remuneration purposes, today, my day off. After that I will go home again. Only to Yo-Yo later in the day-day. Joy, joy.

Hey, everything' alright. This is Buddy Christ, one of the "Dogma" Bobble heads I bought for Rich at Christmas. Buddy is still adorning the Power staging area of the Roberts eBay empire. Blurry in the background are more "toys" a Mark and Slick Pacers Radio Announcers bobble, and a Tony Stewart Coca-Cola Drivers, Arby's bobble. So don't go slamming that office door, or heads are going to bobble. Sounds a little hollow doesn't it (shake your head up and down quickly, then gradually slow down, and finally stop if you agree).

Bowling Tidbits: Just Two More Dynamic Weeks Remain! Wednesday Night 10 for 10 is almost at an end. We maintained our second place standing last night, and advanced 1 win farther from 3rd place, but were unable to sweep. We took the first and last games, they conquered us in the middle one, so much so that they took pin count. Not one of the Chatterbowlers bowled a final game to be proud of, or at our average, but still enough to win by 6 pins.


Spring Fever: Only 11 more days of winter. Vernal Equinox (wasn't he the principle of Loogootee High School, Pam?) occurs on March 20th, and night and day will have equality, and all good little boys and girls will awake to find a spring under their pillows from the spring fairy! Now Remember! Don't put this spring in your mouths kiddies, that's how you get Spring Fever! (Only twelve more days until Yak Shaving Day!, Joy, Joy!) I don't know nutthin' else to tell ya. So.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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During the mid-14th century, the Black Death, a massive and deadly epidemic, swept through Eurasia, killing one-third of the population and changing the course of Asian and European history. The 200 million victims, throughout the many years of infection, constituted the largest death toll from any known epidemic. Many scientists and historians believe the Black Death was an incidence of bubonic plague. A strong presence of the more contagious pneumonic and septicemic varieties increased the pace of infection. The plague continued to strike parts of Europe throughout the 15th century, the 16th century and the 17th century with varying degrees of intensity and fatality. Researchers still do not agree on why large outbreaks of the infection have not returned to Europe; however, changes in hygiene habits and strong efforts within public health and sanitation have probably had a significant impact on the reduction of the infectuous disease.

Real Life Micro Drama From A Real Life Luckless Loser

Blind as a Post, deaf as a BAT! Chuck Pace © 2006
I've been saying I need to get new glasses for quite some time now. My current bifocal script has not really been so good for awhile, and my sonic projection/ location abilities have been somewhat lacking for a very long time now (too much rock'n'roll music, damn kids turn that sh...). I could no more locate a mosquito or lightning bug while in flight now than I could win a nobel pri... Wait a sec. I have no flight or sonic projection/location abilities what so ever, besides I'd probably have to eat half my body weight in insects every day (given my current metabolism, add flying to that and the number goes up dramatically) just to stay alive. Now where were we again? Oh yeah, so anyway, last night when I went to clean my glasses so that Jenni and I could watch a movie, I broke my titanium frames at the junction of the nose bridge and the right upper lens rim ( a pretty bad neighborhood anyway). Jenni called Lens Crafters last night, they said to be there at 12:00 when they opened today to get an exam and glasses made. We went in an attempt to get me back in the sighted majority again. I am very nearsighted (visually also) and can only see clearly without glasses about 12 inches or closer from my face (where else?). I found an 8 year old pair of glasses from before my bifocal days that don't really help with my vision inside of 7 feet or so. After a few hours of these glasses, I realized that most of my (visual) life is an "In Your Face" deal. We were there at 12:06, they told us no way, they were booked for the entire day, the people who us to come in work on the fit and frame side, not the Doc side. No show, no go blind-o. Then a few more errands, food, shopping and home to watch the last half of Daytona qualifying.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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The snow on the trees as I drove to work yesterday. Chuck Pace ©2006

There's Sno Business, Like Snow Business. Chuck Pace ©2006

I awake to a world of surrealistic marshmallow snow. If it were orange and lime green I would have thought I was in Wonkaland. Last night Jenni and I ran a bunch of errands. I was home because I was unable to bowl with my right hand still causing much grief. We also watched a DVD Jen purchased, "Red Eye". A Wes Craven film. Not bad. Medium Suspense.
Random Thought Alert: Jenni and I ate at the Red Cafe yesterday too! (scary music fades out). I picked up some new McGyver supplies to more properly suspend the exhaust until such time as I can get the proper equipment under the Blue Beast! I'll be doing that after I post todays epistle.
Charlie, our Rat Terrier has a basket with 5 tennis balls in it, whenever anyone goes out side at our house they will return to find Charlie sitting with a ball in his mouth waiting for a quick fetch and catch session. It's almost unavoidable. Even the Cable guy tossed him a ball or two the other day. The best thing is to toss more than one, he will try to catch the other while still holding the current one in his mouth, then run to the newly propelled ball and drop the first to have the "latest trick" in his mouth. It's all quite comical. He's a good boy! It's his year.

Meredith called again last night. Recommended I purchase some Richard Cheese music. Says it is hillerous. I now have to check it out. I like Hillerous music as well as the next person.

It's black history month, thus the Black Friday (cue up the Steely Day , Buch) reference in todays post. Tomorrow, the bubonic plague! Or Shirley Temple, diplomat.

Chuck Pace ©2006
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Rich and Rol.. Travis at the Box. Chuck Pace ©2006

So it worked out all right in the end. I was afraid I would not have any chance of doing something with the day after the way it started. I should not have been to concerned. Travis came through, again. He brought a few of the assembled Chatterboxers a "Racin' Card" Game to learn before our Daytona party. He gave Rich, Mel, Ed and I each a set, Jenni had already left (before she left she said she was leaving me, but she just meant at the Chatterbox, as it turns out!) for house and home, and he said there was another set in the car for Liz, so I'll have to grab another set or two to complete the players.
Ed and I stopped in at Luna and we both bought the brand spankin' new Jenny Lewis (From Rilo Kiley) CD "Rabbit Fur Coat", I've already listened to it all the way through twice. Two thumbs up, I expect to here that Brock got his soon, too. So back at the box Rich, who said he wasn't coming out because he was a little peckish, did indeed grace us with his presence. But he sat at the bar away from Mel's cigs. I was up talking to Deanne when he put his hair down, then Travis stepped up, with his down and I grabbed a couple of shots. That's when I made the observation that Travis looked a little like Rolf, the muppet, which caused Deanne to cover her mouth and step back looking down in a moment of glee. Almost everyone agreed with my assessment, there was one detractor, but he was personally biased, I think. You decide. Until we meet again. Keep Smiling 'til then. With a shout out to Microphone Wilson, for brightening my day yesterday with a true belly laugh.
Chuck Pace ©2006
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La, la, la, la! Burqa Babe Erika, "Show us your ankles!" Chuck Pace ©2006

As Fridays go, yesterday was just one day shy of ending the week. We had our yearly reviews at work. When Bruce called me in the office for mine he asked me if I had heard Pat Godwin's Voices In My Head song. "No not really," I said. "Good, that will be your review then" Came his pleased reply. So the song is pretty funny, has to do with schizophrenia, and love/obsession, where the Voices eventually cause Pat to do something he shouldn't. Not the strongest review I could have, not sure what the message is here, but after 18 1/2 years working for Bruce Pallman, we don't have too many real surprises in store for each other. We like each other, understand each other and pretty much know what we can do for the store and the business. All in all a good review. At least that's what the voices in my head are telling me that meant. (The dog is telling me to sharpen some...)

After work came the real hell. Team Four Get It went into position night needing to make up some ground on the next to last place team. We didn't, end of story. We lost games 1 and 3 and series, fell another 3 points in the standings and went home. Or should I say, should have went home!
Cue the therimin music!

I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a brainburger today... Chuck Pace ©2006

Jeff Barber subbed for Ed Sipes last night, he didn't have his ride, so I took him to the alley and back to his place afterwards. As dumb luck would have it he lives about six blocks from the Chatterbox, so I had to go there after dropping Skippy off. Mel Shoffner joined me after the bowling fiasco and we talked and watched the Pacers loose by 4 to the Cavs. We were planning on a couple of commiseration toasts and a quick trip home when we walked in, the Game was just in the fourth quarter, and the place was not very crowded (yet). At one of the tables was Erika Embrey and "Stinky" Steve Sumpin'er other, along with their friend Peg and two other gals I was not introduced to. Erika was her usual decibel spiking self at times and they were obviously pleased with the flow of the evening. After a few outbursts the auditory system begins to adjust, like living next to a truck stop, fire station or airport I'm sure. After the rest of party thinned out Mel and I talked to Steve and Erika for a bit. I took a couple of pictures, one with Erika in her burqa (she's dating a middle eastern man), and the one that will haunt me for the rest of my days! I offered to buy Erika a drink after the night of the living dead photo, just to ensure I could leave with brain matter intact. She said, "Aw, Hell no, I've been here since I got off work!, But thanks (I could use a tasty brain snack though)." Nick Wiesinger at the bar said of the photo, "When I eventually get off work I was supposed to get some sleep, now I don't know if I can. Thanks Man, thanks a whole lot"
Chuck Pace ©2006
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Ever wonder why you got out of bed in the first place? What was (or is) the point? I do, and often. But I always find a reason or at best get up to see if there might be a reason on the near horizon. I'll be honest, I don't grouse or complain on the "site" very much. I don't want to put that face forward. Most of my friends find me to be fun, happy and go lucky most of the time, (the forward face) my better friends (better for who, probably not them) have a smaller window to look through and see my psyche (f-ed up as that really is), and the lesser, real me. Tonight I'm going to sleep on the couch with my cloths on, so that I can take a little less time when I get up to decide my immediate future. I've already posted "I've got a Reason" on the site, about feeling "This Way"